the winn fam

::so very thankful::

2011-11-24T10:00:00.001-05:00

wishing you a season of gratitude and joy. happy Thanksgiving!

::as for the Lord::

2011-11-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

"whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" {Colossians 3:23}

i know this verse well. even memorized this chapter of scripture. but i don't think i really "get it".

i mean what in the world does it really mean to work "as for the Lord"? i know when i'm busy with work in our house this is usually the last thing on my mind. more often i'm craving an accomplished day for my husband's praise and others' approval.

earlier this week, as i was talking with Jim, God helped me to see what it really means to work heartily unto Him. and its pretty simple i think.

to work heartily as for the Lord means that he gets the glory.

not too complicated. when i work i point glory to him. i thank him. he gets the credit for allowing me to do anything at all. that's "as for the Lord".

now here's the thing. if i don't keep this straight then i think that my work is about my glory. i long for the praise and thanks of others, especially my husband. his praise may satisfy for a moment but it doesn't last. so then i despair or get angry feeling "taken for granted". could he express more appreciation? sure. but that's not really going to motivate me everyday. i can't look to my husband and others to fulfill what only God can. they're only image bearers after all. and praise has got to be bigger then me.

last Monday i was reading how scripture says that i'm to work at home "that the word of God may not be reviled" (Titus 2:5). in joyful selfless service to my family i can testify to the word of God. i can point to the Savior who laid down his life for me (Philippians 2:7). i can show that i'm living for the One who came not to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). that - is - not - ordinary. that is amazing! God gets glory in the gospel as i lay down my life in my work at home.
that is good motivation.

so when i help my husband with joy. God gets the glory.
when i willing sacrifice time doing a project or chore i dread. God gets the glory.
when i train. when i wash dishes. when i change diapers. when i organize winter clothes. when i christmas shop. when i read scripture. when i do any work at all - even as i'm writing this - God gets the credit! He gets all glory. and i thank Him!

so its not such an ambiguous or overwhelming task to work "as to the Lord" after all.
just give him credit and thanks for all you do.

::difficult days::

2011-11-06T22:44:00.001-05:00

this week was difficult. runny noses and lingering coughs kept me and the boys home bound all week. literally. I mean, I didn't physically step a foot out of the house, except to get the newspaper, for six days straight.

these days are difficult. Josh is the master of destruction. From the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps. messes are never ending, postponing so many projects I want/need to do. so many days end feeling incomplete and failed. these are difficult days.

I even feel guilt at mentioning these challenges. like it means I'm ungrateful or that I don't love my family enough if I say its hard.

I do love them. and I love Jesus and I need his help.

at times when I think "I can't do this! I'm so OVERWHELMED!" He says "yup. apart from me you can do nada. but you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength." Jesus humbles me more. He gives me more strength in his word and more power in prayer. He supplies my hubby and we learn through my tears. and He blesses me with many friends to cheer me on.

and I guess that's the point of this post. mommy life isn't just a highlight reel of blissful Facebook status updates. it's frustrating, challenging, mundane, discouraging and overwhelming too (a lot of the time). if you're in difficult days too, you aren't alone.

taking it one day at a time over here.

::family pictures::

2011-11-01T11:01:00.006-04:00

a couple weeks ago we were able to have our family pictures taken with bekah grace photography.
Bekah and her family are dear to us as we spent the first years of married life living in their basement apartment.
i have seen Bekah's passion for photography up close and her skill develope as she started her own business.
she is joyful, enthusiastic, flexible and made running around an orchard so much fun! :)

Bekah, thanks again for taking these pictures. we love them!

if you're looking to get family pictures taken for the holidays check her out at bekahgracephotos.blogspot.com.

::two year old::

2011-10-29T08:11:00.000-04:00

i had this post all stored up for when Josh turned two on May 29... about time i actually posted it. since we had just gotten home from the hospital with Bennett a few days earlier we just had a little family party with the grandparents.

here are somethings that our little man is saying and doing these days...

saying
i me 'elp (I need help)
no-n (milk)
ow (meow)
neigh
moo
baa
ooooo-aaaaa (monkey sound)
dis dis (kiss kiss)
wack (quack)
book
bible
yah-yus (Jesus)
i la lu (I love you)
bye bye (said when sees cars and people)
may-may (Grammy)
baa-baa (Grandpa)
mmm-ma (kiss sound)
duh-dee (ducky)
um-ma (Grandma)
ma-mee (monkey)
yay-yeh (Bennett)
bay-bay (baby)
lo-lo (brother)
no no no (when doing something he knows is wrong)
i know
oh no
doos (shoes)
boe-bay (obey)
mama
dada
A Brie (Aunt Brie)
oh-way (Odin)
Joe (Joel)
Ah-na (Anna)
La-win (Laurin)
ithe (ice)
eeth (cheese)
moh (more)
eye
ee-er (ear)
air (hair)
deeth (teeth)
din (chin)
letters of alphabet
counts 1-13, 15, 19 and 20
hello
ee ya (see ya)
mee-mee (mickey)
eee-ya-doh (here you go)
apple
oh-meal (oat meal)
duth (juice)
nigh-nigh (night night - for nap or bedtime)
elmo
da-dee (donkey)
snorts like pig
duh-gee (doggie)
bow-wow-wow
good boy
Redskins
Orioles
so yummy

doing
trying to copy new words everyday
pretending to read aloud in his room
sings "jesus loves me" and "gospel song"
puts paci in Bennett's mouth
burps Bennett with me
tries to push the stroller
dances shaking his hips around
fake laughs
fake cries
gives the best kisses and hugs
running, climbing
opens doors
throws away dirty diapers (says "bye bye doozy")
talks to his stuffed animals
points out numbers and letters on license plates
takes his shoes on and off
kicks and blows bubbles in the pool
loves squishing up blankets saying "so soft!"
loves puzzles
knows all his animals and shapes

stats
date: july 28, 2011
weight: 30lb (50-75%)
height: 35 in (25-50%)
head circumference: 52 cm (>97%)

::my own dying::

2011-10-25T09:32:00.001-04:00

"I should expect every day to encounter circumstantial evidence
of God's commitment to my dying;
and I must seize upon every God-given opportunity
to be conformed more fully to Christ death,
no matter the pain involved.

When my flesh yearns for some prohibited thing,
I must die.
When called to do something I don't want to do,
I must die.
When I wish to be selfish and serve no one,
I must die.
When shattered by hardships that I despise,
I must die.
When wanting to cling to wrongs done against me,
I must die.
When enticed by allurements of the world,
I must die.
When wishing to keep besetting sins secret,
I must die.
When wants that are borderline needs are left on met,
I must die.
When dreams that are good seemed shoved aside,
I must die.

...preaching His story to myself each day
puts me in a frame of mind to trust God
and embrace the cross of my own dying also."
[m. vincent | a gospel primer]

Motherhood, unlike any other season in my life, has convinced me that God is committed to the dying of self. After a very long and sleepless night, this truth has served me well - I must die. And in dying gain a life lived for Him! What a compassionate Father to give the gift of my family and root out selfishness in me!

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." [Galatians 2:20]

::pack it in::

2011-09-15T11:06:00.003-04:00

After reading Hebrews 5:9 in our family devotions two weeks ago, we decided to try to memorize it with Joshua for his first memory verse. Since we regularly encourage Josh to obey Jesus, we liked the verse's connection of obedience to Jesus as a result of our salvation. Can't believe how quickly he memorized it! The testimony of a faithful mom at my sister's church said, "Pack as much of God's word into your child's heart as you can." With this first verse down, I'm psyched to PACK IT IN!

"And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him,"
{Hebrews 5:9}

::good ol rocky top::

2011-09-11T21:19:00.001-04:00

we had an awesome time on our annual Tennessee trip over Labor Day weekend. although it rained a good portion of the time that wouldn't keep us down! here some memories we want to record: road with trip with Corrie (Joshy honorary named Dewey). Virginia state troopers. time with family, Joseph, Meg and Harry dog. tropical storm. No power T. Vols win. smoky Boomsday. windshield wiper malfunction.

::my calling::

2011-07-05T10:20:00.003-04:00

This morning I was reading in Jeremiah 1 about his call coupled with DA Carson's commentary on the passage. He reflects on elements of Jeremiah's call that I've summarized in these three words that are true of the calling of every servant of the Lord.

1. CHOSEN: been commissioned from God and chosen before birth stabilizing Jeremiah in the face of opposition.
2. CAPABLE: Jeremiah protested that he was too young, but God would not accept that excuses, for he is perfectly capable of equipping anyone he chooses.
3. COURAGEOUS: Above all God tells Jeremiah not to be afraid... God does not sugar-coat the difficulties: Jeremiah will be opposed and will at times stand along - but they "will not overcome you," God says, "for I am with you and will rescue you" (1:19)

Considering Jeremiah's call helps me reflect on my own. Applied to my own calling as a Christian, wife and mother, I gain vision for this season of my life.
That I have been CHOSEN in Christ before my birth for His glory;
that I am only CAPABLE to do what God asks in His Word because He equips who He has chosen;
and that I can be COURAGEOUS in the face of difficult or opposition because my God is mighty and He is my ever present help in time of need.
Oh that I would remember the Faithful one who has called me and will work in me today.

"To this he called you through our gospel,
so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ."

{2 Thessalonians 2:14}

::five years::

2011-06-18T15:19:00.003-04:00

five years ago this boy asked this girl to be his girl.
she checked a little box "yes"
and they've been together ever since...
celebrating the easiest answer to the sweetest question tonight.

happy five years baby.

::bennett james | newborn shoot::

2011-06-17T07:29:00.001-04:00

today, at 7:59am our sweet Bennett is four weeks old.
what better way to celebrate then to show off his newborn pictures.
here he is at one week... how i cherish this brief season.

happy birthday Bennett.

::the dream labor | Bennett's birth story::

2011-05-26T03:51:00.016-04:00

if joshua was the marathon labor then i'd certainly describe Bennett's birth as the dream labor. not only were all my desires for the birth met but i was half wake still in dream state when it was time to push - literally like i was dreaming! the summary is 15 hours of active labor and 15 minuets of pushing was all it took to bring our little Bennett into this world. here's how it all happened...

THURSDAY, MAY 19

3:40pm – had scheduled apt with dr. tran complete with bio-physical sonogram. we had set an induction date for monday but since i was 3cm and 80% effaced were hoping that it wouldn't come to that.since i was only 2cm and 60% at my monday's apt i do have to credit that change in dilation to evening primrose oil which i was taking two of every 3-4 hours from monday to that thursday - really really helped to get me ready. to move things along even further we had planned to have my membranes stripped to try to induce labor mechanically, but for very reasons Jim wisely lead us to decide not to and to wait it out instead..
5:00pm – so much for waiting till monday! just an hour after our final dr apt i began counting contractions...
6:30pm – since Jim's mom was watching Joshua and we were in early labor we went on spontaneous double date to Baja fresh with my mom and dad which really helped to pass the time.
7:30pm – after dinner went to see THOR movie, counting contractions the whole time which averaged 30-40 seconds long and 2-3 minuets apart as i'm texting my friend, Ana, who is a practicing doula (shameless promo for her - she's awesome!), for input on the labors progress.
9:40pm – after movie went to restroom and got the bloody show. to this point all these contractions and classic labor signs were completely new to me since Josh was induced. felt like a was having my first because it was so unfamiliar.
10:10pm – called the practice's emergency hotline and found our that one of our favorite dr.s was on call that night!!! they paged dr apgar page and after we spoke he encouraged us to come in.
11:00pm – after grabbing our bags we left house for hospital.
11:40pm – we were checked in to the hospital.

FRIDAY, MAY 20

12am – 3cm and set up on monitors in triage. this was definitely the most frustrating part of labor! having to labor in bed for an undefined period of time in isolation with rude nurses who weren’t getting a good reading on the contractions and wouldn’t allow me to labor out of bed. after an hour in bed i was telling Jim i wanted to just go home and they can't force me to stay in this bed any more! i was pretty irrational :)
1:40am – moved to labor and delivery, used bathroom, signed paper work, saw Maria (same nurse that was there for Joshua’s birth 2 years ago!), began iv drip which Maria so helpfully explained was necessary because i needed to have one full bag in my system before they would give me an epidural.
2:45am – got epidural! so glad because i was very tired and need to get rest before we pushed.
3:15am – felt it all kick in, no more painful contractions!
3:45am – catheter was placed and checked me at 4-5 cm
5:30am - apgar came telling us he would check me again around 6:30am
6:15am - dr tran gets the call I’m in labor
7:30am – wake up to dr tran in room, she checks me. i'm fully dilated and she can feel baby’s head and membranes in tact. after a quick c
7:40am - breaks water, began pushing
7:59am - Bennett is born after only 4 cycles of pushing for 15 min

PRAISING GOD THAT...

no pitocin was given during labor!!
began labor on my own
very clear when we should go to the hospital
dr apgar on call! wonderful surprise!
nurse maria and cheryl were working familiar faces
dr tran delivered!
got to sleep before pushing
no tearing
very efficient pushing
bennett placed on chest as soon as he was born! loved that!
mom and jim great support system and so helpful
wisdom on timing of epi and no slowing down of labor

After this dream labor we had a slightly longer stay at the hospital then we expected. Early Saturday morning Bennett's nurse sent him to the NICU for a rapid breathing rate (tachypnea). After a chest x-ray they discovered fluid in his lungs that was probably not expelled during the quick delivery. To be on the safe side, they treated him on antibiotics for 48 hours to be sure there was no infection and monitored his respiratory rate to make sure it had stabilized. Sunday evening we transferred from the NICU to the pediatric ward to finish his antibiotics and wean him off his IV. Monday morning, blood work showed that he has no infection and he is one healthy little boy! Thankfully this problem was found and treated quickly. We're so grateful to God for the excellent care of the hospital staff and our family (esp. sisters who watched Josh for us) while we were in the NICU and I appreciate being home now with Bennett so much more!

Here are some pictures from our stay in the hospital...

::the winn fam::

2011-05-20T22:42:00.002-04:00

he is jim. i am tessa. we are the winn fam. we met and fell in love 5 years ago. since then, we got hitched, had a baby and bought our first home in the suburbs outside of d.c. we like to enjoy time spent with good friends and family. we like to read scripture and good books. we like to play with our son. we like to help people find homes and decorate our own. we like to watch games and comedies. we like to document life with pictures. we like to be together.

we recently welcomed the arrival of our second little boy, bennett james on may 20, 2011 making us a bona fide family of four.

we're far from being a perfect family. life is real messy and not always easy.
yet because of our Savior, we can treasure it all as a undeserved gift from His hand.

this is a place we post things we do and things we love.

::baby joey | newborn shoot::

2011-05-18T22:23:00.001-04:00

joseph g the IV. sweet little joey.
it was such a joy to photograph this little guy.
in the shade of a warm september evening,
he peacefully snuggled up on the blue, pink and white afghan
that julie's late grandma had crocheted for julie before she was born.
i was not only excited for this shoot because he was so much anticipated,
but also because joey is our one and only godson.
he has already grown so much since then...
but i love to remember how small he was.
what a gift he is.

::joe & julie | maternity shoot::

2011-05-16T18:40:00.003-04:00

last august i had the joy of photographing my dear friends joe and julie.
it easy to capture the joy, excitement and anticipation they shared on this day
as their little baby boy had been the long awaited answer to many prayers.
joe and julie, thanks being willing to try any shots i asked you to!
you guys are the best!

::bennett's nursery::

2011-05-13T22:46:00.002-04:00

i've been trying to seize each day with all its to do's before baby decides to come.
and these certainly have been productive (and distracting) days of waiting on our little man.
with the help of my mom and sister, Anna I finally finished the final touches in Bennett's room.

now all we need is baby.

::its like a memo::

2011-05-11T21:20:00.000-04:00

thought i'd mention...

for simplicity sake, tessa winn photography blog has merged with our fine family blog.
isn't that swell?

past work and recent projects can still be found.
just a click on HER PHOTOS link like so.

have maternity and newborn pictures to post.
also playing around with new logo ideas.
but mostly, i'm just looking forward photographing our own newborn.
any day now...

::happy due date bennett::

2011-05-11T09:22:00.000-04:00

dear baby bennett,

today is your due date.
though i expect to carry you well past this day,
how i have savored and cherished these last 40 weeks with you.

we celebrated at the sight of two strong lines in september.
just weeks later, we cried isaiah 26:3 when we thought we'd lost you.

in october, we rejoiced at the music of your beating heart.
you made our christmas so merry finding that you were a boy.

you've got lots of belly kisses from your big brother.
and made mama laugh at your crazy belly moves.

i love that you are a spring baby.
there has been heart burn and fatigue.
but every physical sacrifice has been worth it.

so now we wait.

longing to hold you.
to kiss your sweet face.
swaddle your tiny body snug.
count your fingers and toes.
to meet our sweet bennett james.

we love you.

::mondays::

2011-05-10T23:14:00.005-04:00

i love mondays.
jim takes off work.
we have extended family time.
i do my coupon grocery shopping.
and best of all, i have date night with my love.

yesterday did not disappoint.
beautiful weather guided a lovely family day at the park.
date night finished with our first jimmy cone of the year.
oh, how i love mondays.

::mother's day::

2011-05-10T18:44:00.004-04:00

what a full day.
family breakfast & a walk in the park.
mother's day lunch at Jim's mom's.
then family dinner at my mom's.

this mother's day, i'm grateful for...
the gift of my husband and two sons.
four generations together this holiday.
and two amazing women that raised us.

"as mothers, we have a choice. we can either resent the challenges and demands that accompany motherhood and persist in our selfishness,
or we can draw from God's grace and receive His help to cheerfully lay down our lives for our children....
though the mission is grave and vast, God's grace is greater.
He kindly reminds us in His Word: 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' (2 cor. 12:9)"
{carolyn mahaney | the blessing of loving my children}

::new look::

2011-05-09T16:29:00.009-04:00

Time for a little spring cleaning, blog style.
New fresh look, with new fresh motivation.
Here's to documenting our family life again...

::daddy fashion::

2010-12-28T09:15:00.005-05:00

Last night I didn't sleep well with acid reflux (perk of pregnancy), so my sweet hubby kindly changed and dressed our son for the day. When I came downstairs for our family breakfast and devotions this is the little number Joshua was wearing...

Backwards day shirt coupled with Christmas PJ pants and diaper flopping out. No socks.
I laughed inside and didn't mention it to Jim. I'm just grateful that I got to sleep in a bit and Josh is in clean clothes! :)

::pregnancy surprise::

2010-12-18T10:40:00.005-05:00

Back in September on our first Jet Blue All You Can Jet trip to Sedona, AZ, Jim and I made the sweet discovery that we were expecting baby number two! After rejoicing together we knew we wanted to tell our family in a special way....

What better way to do it then a SURPRISE! Waiting to tell them was the most difficult thing, but with two family vacations coming up we knew that would be the best time. So on our second AYCJ trip to The Cliff Resort in UT we decided Joshie should be the one to tell his Grandma and Pops the news.After setting everyone up for "family portraits" at the end of the vacation, we handed Mom the letter from Josh. Her reaction was PRICELESS!

"You're pregnant!"Jumping up and down! Completely surprised! YES!
"You're going to be a big brother Joshie!"

Mom, I remember now on the night Jim and I were engaged you embracing me with joy and exclaiming, "The future mother of my grandbabies!" I love how much you LOVE being a Grandma and am so glad I am the mother of your sweet grandbabies. Thank you for sharing in our joy! Love you!

Then it was our turn to tell my family... can I just say that not telling my sisters and mom for weeks after we found out was KILLER! I mean Anna and I drove 6 hours down to OBX together and I didn't say a word about it. So kuddos to me! :)

We headed to Manteo Island for some family time and again "family portraits" to set everyone set everyone up for the big news. As I was cuing them to smile for the final whole family shot I shouted, "one. two. three. WE'RE PREGNANT!" I still laugh when I scan my family faces for their reaction. Each one is totally "them".

Anna's the first one to process the news. "Really?!"

Then Brie and Dad can't believe it... Jim's just loving it :)
But my Mom cracks me up. Basicly the same exact smile the entire time.... I think she was still taking the "family portrait" real seriously. Love her! :)

For those who know us, you probably realize that two very special people weren't able to be with us for the Foster reveal... not to be excluded I gave first bragging rights to my sister Laurin by telling her the news over the phone the night before so she officially knew before anyone else in the family :)

I love surprises!!! If you've read this far and you were expecting something like "we're expecting twins" hate to disappoint but I think there's only one bun in this oven ;) More pregnancy news to come after our October update.

::advent calendars::

2010-11-28T14:20:00.005-05:00

This year I've done a bunch of research for some different DIY advent calendar ideas. Here's some simple, creative and inexpensive ideas I liked best.

::muffin tin::

Aloha Babies

Country Barn Designs

::cone treats::

Anders Ruff Custom Designs

::burlap sack::

Pottery Barn

::envelope::

chinamommy

::match box::

thebeadjunkie

::wedding favor box::

a million ideas

::advent scriptures::
Here's a good link to scriptures and activities to go inside the advent days.

Let the countdown begin!!!

::september 2010::

2010-11-20T10:23:00.002-05:00

This was our month of traveling! Road trips and JetBlue's All You Can Jet tickets kept us moving. Craziness looking back but so much fun!

:Laurin's 30th:
Had a sister's night the night Laurin turned 3-0 in Annapolis. For each decade we celebrated in a different spot with drinks at an Irish pub, dinner at Hell's Point seafood and gelato at an Italian shop, . As always we had so much fun just being together and def made memories. Happy birthday Laurin! I love you!

shameless stole pics from Anna's blog

:TN trip:
Literally right after our night out for Laurin's birthday, Jim, Josh and I headed out for an eight hour drive down to Knoxville for labor day week. For anyone with young kids, I'd def recommend long road trips to be done at night - Josh slept the whole way and we made it there in seven hours because the roads were so open! Upon arrival, Jim took a nap and we headed out with family and friends to our annual Tennessee Volunteers football game. Another big thanks to Joseph's mom for babysitting Josh that night! Sunday we got to worship at Cornerstone Church and have lunch with Jim's dad and brother, Jeffery, and his family. Labor Day so relaxed as we just got to spend time with Joseph and Meg, our friends and wonder hosts, at a nearby park. That night when Jim was done his fantasy draft picks ;), we made our way home... can't wait for our next visit south in November! :)
:Joshua 15 month:
The morning after we returned from TN, Joshua and I had his 15 month Dr. appointment. My how big our boy has grown! He jumped from a wimpy 10% in weight to a whopping 50%! Honestly I think that difference happened when I began feeding him according to suggestions my Deceptively Delious cookbook. Ever since Josh began eating solids I honestly felt very lost as to want exactly his little body needed for nutrition - this book was so helpful in making a clear and simple diet plan for him. The gist of his daily servings are 3 calicum, 3 whole wheat, 3 vegetable, 2 fruit and 1 protein (1/2 his body weight in grams). It can be tricky for sure trying to get in those 3 servings of vegetables but the book helps me to be creative. Josh also had to get his mumps and chink pox vaccinations and took them like a champ! He's still not walking (@16 months now) and loves anything the opens and shuts - especially cabinets and draws. Here are Joshua's 15 month stats:

Weight - 24-11 , 50%
Height - 31 1/2 in, 50-75%
Head Circum. - 49 cm - 90%

:AZ trip:
That same afternoon, Sept 7, Jim and I repacked our bags for our first JetBlue flight to Phoenix. While Josh enjoyed three days of grandma time, we explored the Grand Canyon and a beautiful resort in Sedona. It was a brief trip but a great way to kick off our month of jetting.

beautiful Sedona

hilton resort & spa

:Joey IV:
Our good friend Joe and Julie delivered a beautiful baby boy, Joseph IV on September 9. We are honored to be his god parents and so happy to meet him the next day. Congratulations Joe and Julie! Looking forward to parenting along side you!
:Lost in the Middle:
Our church hosted a conference by Paul Tripp Sept 10-11 that we got to attend. I look forward to unpacking most of the teaching we received now as it was rich!

:Redskins-Dallas:
I was suppose to go with Jim to the game but needed to pack for our next destination so he went for tailgating and returned with a Redskins victory 13-7 ! So sweet - especially over Dallas!
:UT trip:
Snowbird Resort in Salt Lake City UT with Mom and Bill.

:O's-Yankees game:
Sept 17 O's game with Brittany and Averill's. Happy for Britt that it was the close kind of game she was hoping to see but sadly the Orioles lost it. The fireworks after were a nice distraction from the cold and the loss.

:OBX trip:
Sept 19 my sister Anna and I heading down to meet my parents and sister Brie for a week in Nagshead, NC on our Foster family vacation. Jim and Joel came later in the week due to business commitments. Jim had a real estate conference in Boston and got to attend the entire O's-Red Sox series at Fenway park! Laurin and Ryan weren't able to come because of work and we definitely missed them! Can't wait for our next family vacation when we can all be there!

Coming up next... our last Jet Blue trip to CA in the month of October!

::big brother::

2010-10-30T18:40:00.003-04:00

You read the title correctly... Joshua will be a big brother this May!
Guess we'll have two May babies ;)
Very grateful for a healthy momma and healthy baby Winn!

"But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness."
{Lamentations 3:21-23}

::august 2010::

2010-10-30T08:20:00.003-04:00

::anniversary trip::
We celebrated 3 years being married this August 4th by going on a little trip away starting with our favorite city - Baltimore of course. Got to eat at Phillips buffet and stayed the night at our special Sheraton 1509 room. Next day we packed up and headed to Williamsburg for a night. For anniversary gifts to each other we invested in new hybrid bikes and brought them just for our trip in Willimsburg. While it was very hot we were so grateful for the breeze our bikes made and for the hotel pool. Always fun to get away with my love :)

::play dates::
Had more play dates spending time with Benita since she was home this summer with her new baby. And I also got to host my first play date at our house since we moved in February! My friends Jami, Jessi, Meghan came over with their kids and let me say that our built in play house in the basement was a huge hit with the kiddos!

::family baseball game::
Aug. 7th we took Josh to his first Orioles night game and he did really well! We had so much fun together as a little family :)
::Allegra visit::
We hung out with Anna, Benita, Allegra and the babies Aug 10 while Allegra was here for a short visit.

::dinner guest::
Had a former paitent of mine over for dinner and Jim met her for the first time. The timing was right after the one year anniversary of her husbands' death and just before her milestone birthday so it was good to have the company. I do love continuing relationships made in the work place.

::Tommy's b-day::

This was Josh's first birthday party he's been to for a friend. Happy 4th birthday Tommy!

::county fair::

Went to the county fair with C-ana, Evelyn, and Aunt Brie. Here are some pics.

::pool time::

Getting in as much time as the pool before labor day weekend as we could, we went again with friends for sun and fun. This time Aunt Julie was able to join us since she was on maternity leave!

::mk girl's night::

At the end of the month I had some good friends come over for a night of pampering courtesy of my friend Lauren. It was so laid back and fun! Plus the party helped Lauren meet a business goal - score! Love having people over in our home!

::sewing day::

Been in a pattern of doing this home project days with my sister Anna almost weekly now where she'll come over and we'll work together a project that could use two hands. She's totally blessed be by sacrificing her time to help me with projects and it definitely motivates me to actually get stuff done around her. This month we worked on new pillow cases for our sectional and I love how they turned out!

::Shorey baseball game::

As is tradition, we joined up with the Shorey family in Baltimore for an O's-Sox game. O's totally won! And we had a great time catching up with them - more of me talking and Jim watching the game really ;) Love spending time with this awesome family!

::preparing for labor::

2010-10-24T15:46:00.003-04:00

Recently, I've gotten to share some verses with friends that served Jim and I as we prepared for child labor. I thought it might serve other women who too will give birth and may not have spiritual preparation for their time. My goal was to be reminded of as much truth as possible, especially in regards to strength for the weary. First came equipped with music on Jim's laptop including the Valley of Vision, Come Weary Saints, and select Sarah Groves' songs. Then a week before labor we sat down on a date and searched for scripture that would serve as encouragement. This was the list of truths that we brought with us:

Is. 41:10
Is. 25
Is. 26:3-5
Ps. 28:7
Ps. 46:1-2
Ps. 18:1-3
Ps. 121:1-12
Ps. 40:17
Phil. 4:4-7
Ps. 127:3

And of course we brought a lot of prayer with us. Since I had the marathon labor experience all this preparation coupled with Jim's caring leadership guided us well as hour turned into hour. I'm so glad that we fought for faith and had hearts submitted to the Lord's will through out our labor. Hope it serves someone else too :)

::july 2010::

2010-10-21T20:20:00.000-04:00

I don't think I ever realize just how full our days are until I do these recaps... full-to-the-brim! This one took me I while but its good to remember all people we spent time that month.

::capital tour::
July 2nd Jim and I got to do a spur of the moment exclusive tour with his cousin, Tori. She had been interning in DC for the summer and would be going home after the holiday so it was a now or never opportunity to have her show us around the capital. Thanks for so kindly showing us around Tori!

Tori, Jim and Josh

The Old Supreme Court Chamber

my boys in dc

::zack & lindsay's wedding::
July 4th weekend we joined my mom's side of the family in downtown Pittsburgh for my cousin Lindsay's big wedding day. Lindsay is the closest cousin to me in age (only one month apart) so growing up we were always play buddies - so amazing to now see her becoming a wife! The wedding was beautiful and we had such a great time catching up with my extended family over the weekend. Congratualtions Mr. & Mrs. Rosswog :)

pictures below shamelessly taken from my cousin's fb...
beautiful Sacred Heart church in heart of the city
Uncle Ed (mom's younger brother) walking Lindsay down the aisle

Mr. & Mrs. Rosswog!!! Woot woot!
cousins at a Pirates game July 4th

::timaire visit::
Britt hosted friend, Timaire, visiting from AZ while we're away for July 4th. She is such a doss of joy and a pleasure to have here! Come back any time T!
::cow appreciation day::
Through my friend Janet, I found out that July 9th was Click-Fil-A's annual cow appreciation day. The deal is you dress up like a cow and you get a free meal. Did someone say free food? You know we're in! Hannah and Reema joined in too all bringing the little kiddos, or should I say little cows with them too. Love having other mama's to do fun stuff with!

little man waiting patiently for free chicken

eat more chicken

mama's with the babies

checking out Josh's ketchup packet

Josh & Meepers having a little "lady and the tramp" moment...
her daddy did not approve of this picture ;)meeps & jt... good buddies

::Julie's baby shower::
I had the joy of throwing my good friend Julie a baby shower for first baby - sweet little Joey. Everything from the invites to the games and food turned out better then I could have hoped. We have waited a long time to be able to celebrate this little one and I was honored to be able to bless Julie in this small way. Because I was doing so much hosting I only got one picture of the day - oh well.

Julie with Joe's Aunt who made the baby cake

::gender reveal party::
What a day for the baby celebrations! That same evening we were kindly invited to our neighbor's, Ryan & Jenny, for their gender reveal party. I loved the concept of the surprise revealing and it was definitely special to there to share the news with them. Almost forgot to mention that it is a BOY!

finding out... its a boy!

photo credit: J. Potts

::babysitting::
Helping out my friend Benita and secretly wanting time with her new baby and big brother Adrienn, I got to babysit for her one day. Here are some shots I got with the kiddos.

Aaliyah before nap time

such a happy girl... sometimes ;)

Adrienn riding his bike

our boys hanging out on the couch

::pool days::
We got to go the pool a bunch this summer and loved having my sisters, Anna and Laurin, and mom come along with us. In the following weeks we went two more times with different friends - once at this awesome new pool in Clarksburg with Janet, Reema and Hannah and again at a different village pool with Ana. I didn't get any pictures from our day in July but here are some from June...::chessnut::
On July 19, 2010 my parents had to make the difficult decision to put our sweet chocolate lab to sleep. She was suffering much from a collapse larynx that made every breath a struggle and was in fact slowly suffocating from the condition. We miss her terribly and feel her absence every day but our comforted knowing she is no longer in pain.

::Jim's birthday::
We're big into birthday's around here so for Jim's this year we did an all day and overnight spectacular! Kicked events off with lunch at Mom's day before. Birthday morning it was pancake breakfast and off to Six Flags (Jim is a big kid at heart and LOVES amusement parks). With the special birthday speed pass and Wednesday crowds (nobody was there), we got to jump to the front of lines and do some rides back to back. It was perfect. I planned dinner at Outback followed much-anticipated Inception. A minor detour to the wrong hotel (my bad) and we arrived the correct Comfort Inn for the night. Hope you felt my love and how much I cherish you baby! You are more then I deserve... love you!

::play date with Kelly::
No pictures for this one but I had a great time catching up with my friend Kelly while Josh and her youngest girlie played. Btw... Josh attempted to kiss her daughter twice. We have got to keep an eye out for this extreme ladies man!

::needles::
Josh needed bloodwork (lead testing) and took it like a champ! Cried at first but within minuets was my happy boy again! Also got to stop by my office and say hi to co-workers while we were in the area. Here are some happy pictures from a family walk we took that month.

geese (and their poop) everywhere!

happy with dada pushing him

probably had to tickle him to get this picture but hey, a smile is a smile

::kindlewood::
Went as a family to see Kindlewood band at borders - they were so good! Hope to make it out to another show sometime soon.

photo taken from their fb page.... check them out.

::redskin's training camp::
For Jim, when he wasn't crazy busy with clients he was at Redskin's Training Camp ;) What a passionate fan I'm married too :)

::pot providence::
Ending July right, our pastor had an annual cookout called the Pot Providence complete with high competition and elaborately mapped out games - oh yeah and fellowship too. Props to Dave Dabb and Pete for eating those 3 tie-breaker Habanera peppers!

::june 2010::

2010-10-15T12:41:00.001-04:00

Buckle in for a very long post with pictures AND video... how do you like me now! Seriously hope you enjoy our massive June recap.

::12 months::
To start new month of June off we had Josh's 12 month appointment with Dr. Niu June 4. It was also a special day as my last day of working full time as a PTA!!!

We taught Josh to climb down the stairs when we moved into our townhouse. He was a little scared at first but mastered it within a week and now no need for baby gates. Fastest crawler on the East Coast

Some pictures from a family walk

Here were his stats for 12 months:

weight: 20 (10%)
height: 30in (50%)
head: 48 cm (90%) - that's our bobble head boy! ;)

::Thai date::
After seeing my good friend from swim team, Jenn Thai, at our house warming in April we decided we wanted to go out to lunch to see each other more. So that Sunday my parents, Jim, Josh and I joined Jenn and her mom for at the Pho & Grill across from Lakeforest (really good food and atmosphere - def recommend it). So good to spend the afternoon with old friends :)

::strawberry pickin'::
First thing Monday morning, my sister, Anna and I celebrated my first day home full time with some strawberry picking at Larriland Farms. We had great weather, the cousin's did great and Anna and I picked a whole row! Plus because we were there right at gate opening, we missed the crazy rush that came right when we were packing up.... phew! Can't wait to do pumpkin picking next...

two cousins in the field

sleepy strawberry boy

look how much we got!

Josh our quality inspector/ taste tester

bottoms up

looking for another

silly goat walking across a bridge

::Remi double date::
Since we weren't able to celebrate with Seth at his birthday party, Jim and I wanted to take the Remsynder's out for our classic Mama Lucia. We are so blessed to have such awesome friends in Seth and Janet! Happy Birthday Seth!

::32 years strong::
June 10, 1978 my parents were wed! Every year only sweetens the commitment they made that day and encourages us in our marriage. They really are best friends and it shows. Happy anniversary Mom and Dad! Love you!

::Frederick personal retreat::
June 11-12, I planned a personal retreat for my friend Brittany and I. Both of us were transitioning in our work (me coming home, Britt new position at work) and it seemed fitting to cease this time to get extended time away for the Lord's direction over these new seasons. Our time was fun, refreshing and clarifying. Hope we can do it again next year!

great deal on the comfort inn

red lobster is a Tess & Britt tradition. cheesy muffins are a must.
love my friend!
took some pictures the next morning together

what babes are we?
downtown Frederick

::Josh 1st hair cut::
June 13 we said good-bye to those golden locks. I didn't think I'd get sad but I was. Just thinking that was the hair when he was growing in my belly and from the day he was born and on. Just seemed like we were cutting off a piece of his babiness... but no more mullet so that was happy ;)

Josh did fuss or anything. just sat there eating his breakfast - priorities I suppose ;)

::McKenna visit::
The next weekend we welcomed Britt's Dad and brother in our home as they visited for a few days. Britt was mostly hosting them but it was good to catch up over meals and have Joshua meet them. Can't wait for you to come again some time!

::play date::

::4 years together::
Four years ago, on June 18th, Jim asked me into a courtship. He is my first and only love. For the rest of my life I will be his girl :) We went to Baltimore to celebrate.

::run for roses race::
Was a running buddy for my sister, Laurin, who raced the Run for Roses June 19. Josh was totally out numbered as the race was all women but my flirting son didn't mind a bit ;) He was with Grammy the whole time. Way to go Laurin!
::Glab swim meet::
I love going to swimming meets. The cool morning air, the hot summer sun, the strong smell of chlorine... all brings back those 14+ years of competitive swimming. After the race with Laurin, I was able to swing by the Glab's swim meet and cheer for the girls in a couple of their events.

::father's day::
What a great dad Joshua has! :) Here is a video that Josh presented to his dad on Father's Day. I've never uploaded a video to blogger so if it doesn't work you can watch it on vimeo here.

::pc celebration::
This past year Kevin, our caregroup leader, passed the group on to us and went through training with the Sovereign Grace Pastor's College.Kevin now serves as one of the single's pastors in CLC! God is good! During the PC our caregroup had the joy of "adopting" them as we provided care like babysitting and meals after their new son was born. Graduation was in June and to celebrate we had a big cook out at our house with our caregroup and their family hearing lots of highlights from their year in the PC. Congratulations Kev and Jami on a year well done! :)

::the plague::
Hit our house the very last week of June when both Joshua and I got very sick. It is so so rare that we ever get sick in our household but when we do it wipes us out for sure. After recovering from days of doing nothing but sleeping and caring for Josh it was definitely difficult to find order in the home again battling laziness. But we did recover and are still working on that good old heart stuff ;).

up next... July!

::may 2010::

2010-10-12T00:30:00.004-04:00

Remembering the summer time as fall is upon us now... I've been working on each monthly update so this week I'll be posting them one at a time. Here's all that happened in May.

::ricardo & benita’s baby shower::
They had a BBQ style party where the guys were on the deck hanging out while Benita’s husband, Ricardo, sat by her side surrounded by women and everything pink. At least he had little Josh on his lap to keep him company – so cute. More good news, Benita found out that she got into nursing school the same day! I love you so much friend!

Ricardo and little Ricardo - haha :)Josh trying to take Ricardo's neice, Mya, pacifer. Totally knocked her over... oh dear!Both Grandma's sitting on the right side by sideThat's Great-Grandma Phylis in the green outfit Benita and Kristin both pregnant and very close to due dates :)

::remi's cinco de mayo:: NACHOOOOOO! Who doesn’t like Mexico’s day of freedom? Even better, celebrating cinco de mayo with the Remisnyders. Seth and Janet sure do know how to party. Even though we got there later we had fun just chilling with friends haven’t seen in a while and meet new friends.Thanks for inviting us over.

::1st mother’s day::
I know it’s a hallmark holiday, I love it anyway! Jim made my first, official mothers day very special getting me some yellow Gerber (my favorite) and this “thank you” photo album (from Josh ;)). It was really sweet! Then we did lunch with Jim’s family and dinner with my family. My parents got me and my sister Anna Gerber plants and some fun cards for our first mother’s day. Thanks for making it so special! Joshua – I love being your mom!

::three weeks notice::
BIG NEWS! After months of saving and praying for the right timing we decided this month that June 4th would my last day of working and I would be coming home FULL-TIME!!!! Being a full-time wife and mom is something I’ve wanted my entire life and now that it is here I’m just so excited! I know that this is the more difficult job with out a doubt but I am so happy to lay down my life in service to the Lord and my family being busy at home.

::lindsay's bridal shower::
Showering my cousin Lindsay my sisters, mom and I got to do a road trip to Pittsburgh in May to celebrate her approaching wedding in July. Let me just say this shower was probably more beautifully put together then some weddings I’ve been too! Think about 80-100 ladies at this beautiful country club with delicious plated lunch, give away baskets and pampering favors – it was amazing! Aunt Jackie and Candice you did a great job and we had so much fun!

:: josh’s first birthday::

birthday cupcakesphoto booth & "Josh's favorites" mobile in the backgroundJosh's first year in numbers chart & presentsmessy boy only ate the icing so we had to remove a big chunk so he'd see the cake inside curly locks before we cut them off

::Aaliyah Raine::
How fitting that the baby we celebrated at the very start of the month would arrive on the last day of May. Weighing in at 7lb 5oz, 20 inches long sweet Aaliyah was born May 31st, a memorial day baby. She is so beautiful - she looks so much like her mama (but Ricardo, she definitely has her daddy’s eyes). Congratulations Ricardo, Benita and big brother, Adrienn!

::the big ONE::

2010-09-12T11:09:00.003-04:00

Our little man's not so little any more. May 29th was his first birthday party celebrating with near by family . The "theme" was the number 1! Raiding the dollar tree my sister Anna and mom helped me pull together some decorations complete with his year in numbers with growth stats, Joshua's favorites hanging mobile and our guest photo booth. We grilled, ate, talked, watched the running slide show of Josh's first year pictures, ate some more, showered baby with gifts and cheered him on as he licked tons of icing. I'm so grateful for this little boy that God has entrusted us with! And for the many people who surround him with so much love. We are richly blessed!

Here are Josh's one year stats:

Weight - 20 lb, 10%
Height - 30 in, 50%
Head Circum. - 48 cm, 90%

To see some pictures from the party click here.

::winn fam bookclub | jonathan edwards on heaven & hell::

2010-08-16T11:08:00.006-04:00

Jonathan Edwards on Heaven & Hell was Covenant Life’s the book of month for May so I decided to give it a read. While I planned to post this at the beginning of June here we in the middle of August, and I must admit this book review has been a long time coming mostly because I a lazy person. Not wanting to do the hard thinking work involved in the summary I put it off, but after encouragement from my husband to be faithful, I know this is beneficial to my soul to recount truth I've read and share it with others in hopes to encourage as well. So here is the summary of what I want to hold onto after I put this book back on the shelf.

Let me tell you that packed in this tiny book is a lot of punch! If there was one take away for me this would be it: live life with the reality of heaven and hell. All throughout, this book paints a stark contrast between the time of Jonathan Edwards and our own, showing how very little we think about eternal maters and can question its reality with the disappearance of the afterlife in our every day. The authors draw the observation,

“The problem, though, is that our modern lifestyle has trained us only to think deeply and searchingly about things like heaven and hell when our more pressing concerns have ceased – which is a rare occurrence.

“In our day, many of us busy ourselves with this world and the perfection of our existence in it. We have little fire for an otherworldly lifestyle, because we have little connection to the other world.”

Edwards shouts to our deaf culture to make this connection to the other world! Known to many for the daunting historical sermon “Sinner’s in the Hands of an Angry God”, modern Christians have criticised this fire and brimstone message as simple scare tactics, not at all relevant for present day evangelism. I see now that by withholding the truth of the afterlife from unbelievers I am withholding love, in effect hating them. The book supports this thinking,

“Edwards wrote and preached on the need to prepare one’s soul for death not because he was a killjoy, but because he loved his people deeply and wanted them to avoid wrath and taste eternal life."

“The images of hell in the Bible are not meant to soothe, after all. They are meant to unsettle, to drive the lost to take their sin seriously and cry out to God for mercy."

“It makes little sense, after all, to preach only salvation. Salvation from what, we might ask?… we need to preach salvation from judgment, specifically, from the day of judgment and the eternal punishment in hell that will follow.”

“We preach hell not because of its evangelistic results, of course, but out of a desire to remain faithful to the scriptural gospel.”

“Christians who do not evangelize have not looked closely enough at the content of their faith, which is rooted in eternity… we cannot claim that we are emulating our Lord or His apostles by staying away from the lost… If we are not intentional about getting involved in the lives of others, we can create a lifestyle that effectively walls us off from non-Christians”

What a challenge to this often self-focused, walled of woman! Yet an eternal view effects not just evangelism but everything earthly task. How does the reality of heaven and hell change how I parent? Or how I attend to my work at home? Edwards draws the connection,

“As parents, we need to shepherd our children and raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord…. The most significant responsibility one can have is the care of a child. Every child has a soul; every soul is precious. Those parents who focus on this plain truth will find themselves fundamentally unable to yield primacy of focus and attention to anything but their children.”

"We must see our daily vocations in eschatological terms. Our earthly lives share a direct connection with our heavenly lives… Every position, every vocations, allows us the opportunity to give God glory, whether we labor as a flower-shop owner, a stay-at-home mother, a bus driver, a corporate lawyer, or a writer. How we do the work given to us in God’s gracious providence matters greatly to Him. (Col 3:23-24)”

Where my mind has been so dulled by ceaseless empty amusements in this fleeting technological age, this book has been a bucket of ice water reviving the heart with biblical certainty. Once you have woken from your stupor and beheld the known reality of life to come you are faced with the question: how now will you live?

“We need only to grasp the realities that sit plainly before us and apply them to our lives, or rather, allow them to transform our hearts and minds such that we experience the joy an weight and significance of an eschatological life.”

::Galatians 3:21-22::

2010-08-13T10:16:00.003-04:00

Very much feeling God's power to memorize on this rainy day when I just feel like falling asleep. I'm just blown away at the promise that has been given to me by faith in Jesus Christ just because I believe on His complete works! Grace just rocks my soul! Gotta love Galatians!

3:21 Is the law then contrary to the promises of God? Certainly not! For if the law had been given that could give life then righteousness would indeed be by the law.
3:22 But the Scriptures imprisoned everything under sin, so that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe.

::all there::

2010-07-27T22:41:00.005-04:00

A friend emailed this article to me so I thought I'd post it here cause it was so helpful to me.

"Another challenge for a young mother is cultivating a love for the home.

God has called us to love our children from home base (Tit. 2:4-5). We can’t improve upon God’s design! This means more than staying at home. It means fixing your heart on your home. Women can leave their homes through more avenues than work or outside ministry. Cell phones, emails, and chat rooms can take a mother away from her primary ministry, too.
Ministry means being “all there."...

What is the alternative? “A child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Prov. 29:15).

Remember this: you have the privilege of passing on to young hearts a sense of God!.... As you let your children experience intimacy, nearness, and availability in their earliest years with you, you can point them to find those soul-necessities in Christ, their Savior, as they mature."

by Jani Ortlund | For the Young Mother: Ministry, Guilt, and Seasons of Life

How I need God's lavish and available grace to be "all there" in my mothering and impart to my son the soul-necessities in Christ! I know I can't just work a little harder and accomplish this on my own but need to free fall into grace unending at Calvary for this joyful task. He is so kind to this sinful and flawed woman!

::Galatians 3:19-20::

2010-07-26T16:03:00.003-04:00

I decided that I'm gonna take off weekends from new memory to review the verses I've already done. I really want it to stick in my mushy little brain. I hope to record myself reading chapters 1-3 so I can listen to the review in the car or on the treadmill. By God's strength and grace here is today's memory:

3:19 Why then the law? It was added because of transgressions, until the offspring had come to whom the promise had been made, and it was put in place through angels by an intermediary.
3:20 Now an intermediary implies more than one, but God is one.

::Galatians 3:17-18

2010-07-24T09:24:00.002-04:00

In these verses Paul is further hammering the case that we are heirs with Christ from a promise of grace in a covenant made with Abraham and not by our works. He argues so strongly to make it crystal clear that there is no way our faith is through works of the law. In these verses Paul shows how the covenant of faith came to Abraham long before the law was even given. God gave the covenant of grace to Abraham by a promise!

What this means for me today is that I know my justification is not based on my performance! Where the law condemns my heart I have one plea - Jesus! My hope is built on the promise of faith and not on a "good day-bad day" works mentality. "Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." {Jerry Bridges}

From memory today:

3:17 This is what I mean: the law, which came 430 years afterward, does not annul a covenant previously ratified by God, so as to make the promise void.
3:18 For if the inheritance comes by the law, it no longer comes by promise; but God gave it to Abraham by a promise.

::Galatians 3:15-16::

2010-07-22T19:26:00.003-04:00

3:15 To give a human example, brothers: even with a man-made covenant, no one annuls it or adds to it once it has been ratified.
3:16 Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, "And to offsprings," referring to many, but referring to one, "And to your offspring," who is Christ.

"Faith had the precedence of the law,
for Abraham was jusified
by faith...
the covenant is made with Abraham and his seed....
We should have though it had been meant only of
the people of the Jews.
"Nay,"
says the apostle,
"it is in the singular number,
and points at a single person
- that seed is Christ,"
So that the covenant is sill in force;
for Christ abideth for ever in his person,
and in his spiritual seed,
who are his by faith."
{Matthew Henry's Commentary}

::Galatians 3:13-14::

2010-07-20T22:17:00.004-04:00

These verses were a bit easier because they're ones that our church put to song from our series on Galatians back in 2002. I love how songs stay with me and with it scripture is hidden in my heart. I must confess I didn't know the proper punctuations, but otherwise had these verses down. Looking forward to Jim's birthday celebrations tomorrow. Good night.

3:13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us - for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree" -
3:14 so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith."

::Galatians 3:11-12::

2010-07-19T10:22:00.003-04:00

Lord, help me to walk in humble, righteous faith today. Strip me of all boasting or exalting in human works to trust in Christ's finished work alone! From memory:

3:11 Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for "The righteous shall live by faith."
3:12 But the law is not of faith, rather "The one who does them shall live by them."

::Galatians 3:9-10::

2010-07-17T17:06:00.003-04:00

Well its been since a month and a half but this is a discipline and its to be practiced for my entire Christian walk so with grace from the Lord, I'm committed to it :) From memory here are today's verses:
3:9 So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham the man of faith.
3:10 For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law and do them."

::winn fam bookclub | in light of eternity::

2010-06-06T12:04:00.000-04:00

In Light Of Eternity- Randy Alcorn

A book review written by Jim

So why do we live on this earth? What is the purpose? As we know from the Westminster catechism, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” As we glorify God and enjoy Him, what is our ultimate call of obedience to our God? Randy Alcorn says, “As long as we’re still here in the parched wastelands of the present earth, God calls us to offer refreshment to a world full of people dying of thirst. What should we offer them? Exactly what they thirst for- a person and a place. Jesus is that person. Heaven is that place.”

In this book “In Light Of Eternity”, Alcorn serves us as the reader by giving us a biblical perspective on some of the ways we are called as Christians to faithfully serve the Savior on this earth. One of those ways we serve Him is by living today in light of that day. Martin Luther said, “May we invest all that we are and have today in light of that day.” Alcorn says “eternity will hold for us what we’ve poured into it during our lives here.” He goes on to say that “our lives on earth are a training course to get us ready for heaven. It’s not just that God is preparing a place for us (John 14), it’s that He’s preparing us for that place.” Part of how we prepare ourselves for heaven involves how we are investing our time here on earth. Jesus calls us to “store up for ourselves treasures in heaven (not on earth)…for where our treasure is, there our heart will be also” (Matt 6:19-21). On this earth as a Christian, I should have a longing for my ultimate home- the home where I will spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The best thing about heaven is that we will be with Jesus forever. Revelation 22:4 says, “they will see His face”, which perhaps best summarizes the central, and most glorious reality of heaven! Alcorn says that the most important fact about our future home in heaven is that “heaven is the place God lives.” When talking about heaven, the Scriptures would emphatically emphasize the glory of God and the lamb, Jesus Christ as most central and significant. Alcorn also says, “in heaven we’ll be at home with the God who loves us and whom we love- and lovers are never bored with each other. The person who truly loves and belongs to God could never be bored in His presence.”

So a question that people may ask is, “should we think about heaven often? Does the Bible command us to think about heaven a lot?” Although we cannot point to a specific verse that explicitly says this, I do believe that all throughout Scripture there are implicit references to the anticipation, longing, and preparation of the heavenly home for the Christian. Some of these many examples would be: Matthew 6:19-21 (referenced above), 2 Corinthians 5:1-5, and Ecclesiastes 3:11. Then there are references to Paul speaking about how he wants to run in such a way as to obtain the heavenly prize, how he works to receive a crown that is imperishable, (1 Cor 9:24-27) and how the “crown of righteousness” will be awarded to him and to those “who have loved His appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8). Alcorn says, “the more we understand this world is not our home and the more we lay up our treasures in heaven, the more we will long for heaven and the more content we’ll be able to leave earth behind. God doesn’t expect us to long for death- He does expect us to long for heaven.” Now let me make a confession and say that I do not think about heaven enough. In fact, I don’t think I think about heaven a lot at all. This should be a sad reality. As a Christian, I should make it one of my primary ambitions to invest all of my life on this earth in such a way that prepares for my ultimate destination- the place where I will spend all of eternity. Why don’t I think about heaven enough? One of the reasons is simple. Alcorn says, “A robust, accurate, and biblically energized view of heaven will bring you a new spiritual passion.” So apparently, part of the reason I don’t think about heaven enough is because I don’t have a “biblically energized view of heaven.” Yes, convicting. How can I grow in obtaining this energized view of heaven? One question Alcorn poses is simply, “How much do you think about heaven?” He goes on to give some practical suggestions to help cultivate this thinking such as picking out some favorite verses on heaven and posting them on the mirror, the dashboard, or the refrigerator. We should memorize these verses. We should talk about heaven frequently with our friends and family. He goes on to say that we should “center our life around God, His place, His Word, His people, and those eternal souls who desperately long for His person and His place.” Beyond these practical ways that I can cultivate more of a longing for heaven, I am grateful that God is using Alcorn’s biblical and very creative mind to communicate a greater picture of what heaven will most likely be like. Now some of what Alcorn says about heaven should be interpreted as speculation (which he says as well), not necessarily clear biblical fact. Most of these areas of speculation are primarily driven from broad biblical truth, which results in Alcorn’s creative, and gifted mind taking us on an imaginative journey of possible, and sometimes probable speculation because of the Father’s desire to give us good gifts. A couple examples he gives are the possibility of our pets being in heaven, as well as wondering if we will be able to fly in heaven (perhaps laws of gravity would be different). Alcorn’s simple answer to this speculation is that if these things would make us happy, then perhaps God would grant this desire in heaven. Regardless of this speculation, Alcorn’s aim is not to make readers fantasize about all these little possibilities, but rather point us to the biblical emphasis on Christ and why we should truly be living for Him. To conclude, I really think one of Alcorn’s practical suggestions to apply a heavenly focus is the following:

“I recommend taking a family field trip to a dump or a junk yard. Show your children all the piles of ‘treasures’ that were once Christmas and birthday presents. Point out things costing hundreds of dollars, things that children quarreled about, friendships were lost over, honesty was sacrificed for, and marriages broke up over. Show them the remnants of battered dolls, rusted robots, and crashed cars. Let them look at the expensive furniture and electronic gadgets that now lie ravaged and useless. Point out to them that nearly everything your family owns will one day end up in a junkyard like this. Then read, or ask them to read 2 Peter 3:10-14, which says when Christ returns the whole world ‘will be destroyed by fire’ and ‘the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.’ Then ask them the ultimate question: ‘When all that you owned lies abandoned, broken, burned, and useless, what will you have done that will last for eternity.”

::full time mom::

2010-06-05T11:47:00.004-04:00

"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation." {Luke 1:46-50}

My soul has cause to magnify the Lord today! My spirit indeed rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant! For He who is mighty has done GREAT THINGS for me, and Holy is His name! Not only has God provided salvation from just wrath by Christ's finished work on the cross for me meeting my greatest need in this life, but He has been faithful to hear our prayers for over two years! And I want to glorify His name!

Over two years ago I earned a degree that allowed me to serve the Lord, my family and my patients by working full-time. Soon after we had decided it would be necessary for me work after Joshua born I wrote this post. I wrote then,

"The Lord has always provided not only the ends but the means to that end, that [will] work in such a way to bring about heart change and glory to His name. He will give me all the power and grace I need when the time comes for it!".

I can testify now to the truth I believed then! I do not consider this "trial" as significant as what others are facing, yet I do not want to dishonor the Lord by minimizing the provision that He has brought about! He has carried me through many tearful times where I just felt too weak to keep working. My God has comforted me when I grieved over all I was missing in Joshua while I was away. The Lord reshaped my identity in Him alone as I wrested with sinful comparison and anger in my envy. I am thankful for my loving husband who has tenderly lead me to follow God's will for our family. I am grateful beyond words for the body of Christ and support of my family (especially Josh's grandmas and our caregroup ladies), for without them would not have made it through this season - with tears in my eyes THANK YOU! I've been strengthened through God's Word daily and other resources like this one and this one. I can say now, with full conviction that He has been faithful to give me all the power and grace I needed to endure this season and I am more like Christ because of walking through it.

With this said it is my joy to announce that yesterday was my last day of professional work! It is because of God's kindness to us that I am now officially a FULL-TIME mom!

Please continue to pray for me, if you think of me, as I am now in the occupation of much greater challenge and demand - but so very excited to be here! I am simply amazed at privilege of serving my husband and son by staying at home full-time. God is faithful and all glory belongs to Him!

I want to close again by borrowing the words of Luke:

"And her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown great mercy to her, and they rejoiced with her."
{Luke 1:58}

::winn fam bookclub | counsel from the cross::

2010-05-28T23:07:00.002-04:00

To say that I’ve had an amazing Gospel realty check over the past month from Elyse Fitzpatrick’s teaching would be an understatement! After the “Because He Loves Me” women's conference I was convinced that I needed to get my hands on one of Fitzpatrick’s books. So I purchased “Counsel from the Cross”. I’m glad I did.

Avoiding the "how to" step-by-step instruction to counseling, this book focused instead on applying the gospel to every day life. I loved how she confronts legalistic, self-sufficient “serious” Christians (like me) with the realities of the gospel allowing Christ’s love to inspire us to obedience. And then later encourages sinful parents (like me) to train from the gospel - this portion alone made the entire book so worth the read!

Transformed by the gospel I can now share the gospel in my counsel with others! Here are some quotes I loved:

“Children, like their fathers and mothers, need to remember the gospel….We are to use their disobedience as a gospel opportunity to remind them that they are sinful and flawed, but if they flee to Jesus he will love and welcome them…When you as parents learn to openly confess your sin to your children, you will help them know that you don’t think you are perfect and that you struggle with sin just as they do. It will give them hope that there isn’t something uniquely wrong with them that isn’t wrong with you too. They will see that although you sin, you are loved by God, which will inspire them to share in that truth with you.”

"A husband and wife who have forgotten how loved and welcomed they are will never be satisfied with each other... Rather than seeing themselves as needy sponges, trying to soak up every drop of earthly, human love, they will see themselves as wells supplied by a divine Spring, overflowing with living water that is meant to satisfy, cheer, and serve those around them."
"Although we profess to believe that God is good, wise, and powerful, our anger frequently tells us that we believe something else."
“Considering Jesus Christ and the gospel answers all our anxiety and produces feelings of peace and well-being. Our experience of anxiety is a good gift when it forces our eyes away from our false treasures and onto our true treasure, Jesus Christ.”

“Only the Spirit of God can change a human heart. God’s love in Christ can make us grown in love and delight in him.”

“After she has warmed her soul by the fire of the gospel, she can seek to imitate God in her home.” (LOVE this one!)

“seeing him will transform us, just as it transformed Moses, but our transformation won’t fade away; it will grow brighter and brighter until we are finally, perfectly transformed by his presence in heaven. Look on his faith, believe in his power, and be changed!”

“Think on his love. You can’t do it enough. Be enraptured by it; let it overwhelm you…. Hoping in his transforming love causes us to strive after purity, to be pure, “as he is pure”.

“we want you to believe in his love for you and then let that love impel you to love and obey him.”

"If you think God should love you because you have obeyed enough, you have underestimated the depth of God’s law. Even more seriously, you have missed the gospel."

"Are you transparent and vulnerable before your friends or defensive and self-protective? The cross is the most blatant statement of criticism ever displayed. You would need to defend your self from criticism only if you didn’t have a Savior who loved sinners. If you are defensive, you are missing the gospel."

"The Sad Moralist is a ‘serious” Christian… He believes that he ought to be able to do better, so he is harsh with himself, and he thrashes himself with condemnation, hoping that by so doing he will be able to obey and finally find rest. He doesn’t know the peace that Christ promises or the joy that should infect his heart.”

“The pride of the heart will not let us submit to the righteousness of Jesus Christ.” (excellent!!)

“For the gospel-centered Christian, the function of the law is to drive us to Christ and to make us continually more and more thankful for his perfect keeping of tit in our place.”

"The goal of this counseling is that the brother or sister in need of counsel would grow in his or her understanding of the gospel and how it applies to every area of life and then respond in grateful obedience in every circumstance, all to the building up of the church and for the glory of God."

"So gospel-centered counseling is counseling based on Scripture that defines us as God does and then applies both gospel declarations and gospel obligations to every problem we encounter."

::april 2010::

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::easter:: Easter is my favorite holiday for so many reasons: the time with family with out the fuss of shopping, the weather is beautiful spring time and sunshine and its the most rich celebration in Christian faith in our Savior conquering sin and death by raising from the dead! Yes, I love Easter!

This Easter was even more special because, like other holidays this year, it was Josh’s first Easter! Starting the night before we dyed eggs at my parents and make a beautiful basket for the family. The next morning started early with our own sun-rise service reading scripture together and making chocolate chip bunny and chicky pancakes (needed extra syrup for the burnt ones ;)). Then it was time for church in our Easter best and family times at with Jim’s family including his Aunt Theresia and cousin Lucas who were in from Tennessee and then time over at my parents where Laurin and Ry came by surprise! Definitely the best Easter to date! (Just too bad I didn't get pictures of Josh! Good thing Grandma got some! :))

::birthday baltimore trip:: To celebrate my birthday, Jim took me away to Baltimore for the weekend. My friend and cg member, Ana kindly offered to watch Josh for us which was a huge gift in its self since she has two daughters of her own under the age of 2 – thank you Wardell and Ana! We went to Orioles Opening Day at Camden Yards, had yummy dinner at the Inner Harbor Cheese cake factory and spent the night at our special Sheraton 1509 enjoying a huge room-service breakfast the next morning. I love birthday times with my hubby!
::housewarming:: After tackling some small yet time consuming house projects, we hosted a housewarming in the middle of April. With the help of my friend Lauren who catered all the food with delicious Pampered Chef recipes it was a wonderful party. Not only was it great to be able to show off the new house to family and friends, but many of our new neighbors from our row of townhouses came as well! We could not be more happy with our home or our neighborhood!

::alycia’s baby shower:: Our friends, the Irish’s, are pregnant with a sweet baby girl due on Joshua’s birthday – May 29th! Rejoicing in the gift of this new little lady I was invited to a shower hosted by her family. Because they have recently moved the central point for the shower was her sister, Johannah’s new home in Arlington, which is an amazing house planted in the middle of a neighborhood that looks straight our of Better Homes and Garden’s magazine! Julie and I got good talk time on the ride up and back and Josh had a blast with all the doting women around him. Will & Alycia, we can’t wait to your little girl!

::brie birthday:: I love sharing an April birthday with my older sister Brie! Starting the celebrations off right Britt and I took her for some pampering to get nails and toes done at Phoenix Nails on Saturday. Then Sunday the entire Foster family went out to Nick's Fish House in Baltimore for fun dinner. I’m so glad you were born Brie and so respect the women that you have become. Love you so much girl! ::gruden's move:: This is the saddest of updates…. April was the last month that the Gruden’s were in our caregroup before moving to Arlington to join Redeemer Church of Arlington. I’m going to miss there humor, joy and humble transparency. We love you guys and already miss you like crazy!

::women’s conference:: When I registered for the “Because He Loves Me” conference our church hosted I had no idea what to expect. I had never heard of the speaker Elyse Fitzpatrick but I looked forward to meeting as just ladies. To sum up the conference was basically all about the Gospel - a message that I will never tire to hear about! There was so much rich truth but my one bit to take away from this conference is to behold God’s love displayed in my justification on the cross as the only true motive to work out sanctification.

Next up: my book review from Elyse Fitzpatrick's book "Counsel from the Cross"...

::winn fam bookclub | questioning evangelism::

2010-05-27T07:42:00.001-04:00

Last month I wrapped up Randy Newman's "Questioning Evangelism". With my time in the work force soon coming to a close, so the opportunities to share the hope of Christ to patients and co-workers are as well. In an effort to make the best use of this season this book peaked my interest in learning how to ask discerning questions in apologetic conversations with non-Christians.

Daily I need to remember Gospel love that motivates and encourages me to share the greatest gift I have to offer. Here are some thoughts I want to hold onto:

"[Rabbinic evangelism] involves more listening than speaking, inviting rather than demanding a decision. Perhaps the most important component to this kind of evangelism is answering questions with questions rather than giving answers.... I'm pleading for conversations that lead to conversions, rather than presentations that lead to preconceptions."

"we should approach evangelism with wisdom. This means that we become people who incarnate the gospel and speak of it freely because our hearts and minds have been captivated by it. Becoming people of wisdom and compassion is the prerequisite for any evangelistic technique."

"In fact, we'd almost expect every religion to get some things right. The question is to find the one that gets it all right."

"It doesn't seems too strong to conclude that Christ is either the only way to God or He is no way at all."

"By showing respect, listening, showing compassion, we must remove every stumbling block, except the one - the Cross... Before people benefit from the Good News, they're likely to be bothered by the bad news."

"More than the content of his remarks, however, I wanted to address the haughty attitude behind them....asking how they'd answer their own question."

"In the process of evangelism, we must answer not only the questions that people ask with their mouths but also the ones they express in their hearts."

"Loving someone who doesn't deserve love makes us more like the God who loved us 'while we were still sinners' (Rom. 5:8). Unlike any other tool, then, marriage drives home the two-pronged messaged of the gospel: that we are 'more wicked and sinful than we ever dared believe but, in Christ, we are more accepted and loved than we ever dared hope."

"Portraying Christian experience as a progressive journey towards holiness rather than a present attaining of holiness can actually be liberating to questioners."

"The eternity that is planted in our hearts find its initial fulfillment in our Savior's cross, yet it longs for total fulfillment in the very presence of that Savior."

"[Jesus] had compassion on the, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd (Matt. 9:36)... Imagine what it must be like to face death without the assurance of salvation, to handle sickness without the comfort of prayer, or to deal with uncertainty without the fellowship of the Holy Spirit."

"people reject the Good News because they're enslaved to other kinds of news. They're in love with something unworthy of such devotion, and it won't let them go."

"grace should be both amazing and alarming to us.
Although something in our bent toward self-sufficiency hates it, the wonder of ti
should overwhelm us with joy, gratitude, humility, and an urge to share it."

"We might need to tell our heavenly Father, "I don't care about
people the way I should. I have a cold heart. Please make me more like
You - caring, compassionate, gracious, and abounding in mercy. Give me as great
a longing to see Your work in people around me as I long for it within me. I need You to work because I cannot manufacture this kind of compassion
by myself."

"gracious listening flows from a heart that has been humbled, stilled, and transformed by the power of grace. Listening is simply a form of serving, of putting the other person first, as Phil. 2 implores us. It requires an inner concern for the person more than an outward practice of techniques."

::winn fam bookclub | jonathan edwards - a life + a God entranced vision of all things::

2010-05-12T16:11:00.005-04:00

Here's two book reviews from Jim:

For this book review, it is a combination of both of these books that I just completed, a lot of material which overlaps. The first book, “Jonathan Edwards- A Life” was written by George Marsden and is an in depth biography of Edwards’ life. In the second book, “A God-Entranced Vision of All Things”, (John Piper and Justin Taylor) it is primarily a celebration of Edwards’ legacy and why studying and appreciating his life and ministry is so important.

As a person who has always loved history, I distinctly remember my admiration for Jonathan Edwards beginning sometime in my middle school years while studying American/Church history. One of the reasons for this interest is simply because I have liked learning about the early colonial history of America and how we became the country we are today. I became fascinated with Edwards’ life and influence- especially in the accounts of the “Great Awakening” (1734 and 1741), when there seemed to be a powerful and unique movement of God that resulted not only in many people getting saved, but also in many Christian lives being changed towards a greater pursuit of the Lord. Of course at my early age, I didn’t comprehend all the incredibly insightful theological categories that defined the way Edwards wrote, taught, and ultimately lived. Now I will be the first to admit that I personally do not think Edwards is very easy to read, nor do I think he is always interesting to read. My opinion is that a lot of his writing style is very difficult to follow and even sometimes wearisome! But writing style aside, what an incredibly gifted thinker and biblical theologian he was! When we immerse ourselves into Edwards’ thinking, we are immediately struck by a God-entranced focus and glorious reality that “from Him and through Him and to Him are all things” (Romans 11:36). Clearly seen in the way Edwards lived and taught- God’s glory is at the center of all things. Here are some things that stand out to me why I want to apply truths and practices from Edwards’ life, and many of the reasons today why he is one of my true historical heroes of the faith and an example of a godly man that I want to learn from and emulate:

The first category would relate to his personal life. First, is how Edwards pursued the Lord in his personal life through the spiritual disciplines. Amazingly, Edwards would routinely wake up around the 4AM hour to spend time w/the Lord through prayer and study, and would spend an average of 13 hours total per day in his study: prayer, reading, writing/journaling, sermon preparation, meditation, etc. In his disciplined personal pursuit of holiness, Edwards wrote his personal “resolutions”, whereby he would “resolve” to do specific things (like best redeem the time, words of love, acts of kindness, etc.) out of a desire to love and obey the Savior. Regarding his prayer life, here is what Marsden says: “He began the day with private prayers followed by family prayers, by candlelight in the winter. Each meal was accompanied by household devotions, and at the end of each day Sarah joined him in his study for prayers. Jonathan kept secret the rest of his daily devotional routine, following Jesus’ command to pray in secret. Throughout the day, his goal was to remain constantly with a sense of living in the presence of God, as difficult as that might be. Often he added secret days of fasting and additional prayers.” Even though most of us don’t have the time that Edwards had to devote himself like this (especially as he was called to pastor), there is still much for us to learn from this example of passionate dependence on the Lord expressed through frequent prayer. Another example from his personal life is how he loved his wife, Sarah and the kind of marriage God blessed them with. It is often said, “behind every good man is a great woman.” Undoubtedly, this is the case in the Edwards family where Sarah Edwards has been one of my women heroes of the faith. Much can be said about her life and how she served the Lord, her husband, her family and the body of Christ so faithfully. One thing that Jonathan and Sarah loved to do often together was sing. Edwards’ view on singing was that God used it to stir affections within us and draw us closer to Him in sweet communion. He says, “Music, especially sacred music, has a powerful efficacy to soften the heart into tenderness, to harmonize the affections, and to give the mind a relish for objects of a superior character.” And a final note as it relates to Sarah, let me just say how grateful I am to the Savior for my wife, Tess who has so many of these Sarah Edwards-like qualities that I prayed for in a wife. I love you, beautiful! Another reason why I admire Edwards’ personal life is how he took care of himself physically and made the connection between physical health and spiritual health. He saw his body as “a temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor 6:19), thus he disciplined his body to eat in such a way that would not overly indulge, but rather eat what is necessary for good health and ultimately service to the Lord. He also saw the need for regular exercise throughout the day, which he knew would sharpen his mind and aid his studies. He would often chop wood, do horseback riding and a lot of walking, which he used primarily for meditation and prayer.

The second category would relate to Edwards’ life of ministry. In his pastoral ministry, I see it both commendable and God-honoring, how he labored in the same local church in Northampton for many years, in spite of some difficult years. It is obvious he had an amazing love for his people and was very patient in spite of the increasing difficulties as the years went on. Eventually- in what I think is one of the saddest accounts in church history- Edwards was dismissed by his once loyal and supporting congregation. The reasons for the dismissal was partially because of a lack of pastoral discernment on Edwards part regarding church discipline, and also a salary dispute. But mostly the dismissal was because of Edwards’ stance regarding the Lord’s Supper, and how he believed that only church members who visibly demonstrated outward fruit of conversion should be allowed to participate, which went against the “halfway covenant” (views previously held by his grandfather as pastor in the church,) whereby non-members could partake in the Lord’s Supper. In taking a stance on what I believe to be biblical (regenerate members- as well as those not under church discipline- taking Lord’s Supper), Edwards’ desire for how the local church should be visibly distinct as an example to the world displays both his personal and pastoral integrity to stand by his convictions in a desire to uphold the glory of God and truth of Scripture. And if there was any reason to question Edwards’ love for his local church, even during his farewell sermon- after voted on to be dismissed- Edwards delivered an amazingly compassionate and winsome message on how much he- and most of all the Savior- loved these people. His primary concern for them was the spiritual state of their souls and where they stood with the Savior. And then even after he was dismissed, out of love for them he still preached on occasion while the church was still searching for his replacement! And then another reason for my admiration of Edwards as it relates to his life of ministry is his heart and example of a missionary. Edwards always had a love for, and heart to reach the Indians- even in the midst of a lot of political opposition, hatred, and warfare of the time (like French and Indian War). After his dismissal from Northampton, Edwards would become a missionary to the Indians and risk much for the sake of advancing the gospel to this very difficult people group.

The third category would relate to Edwards’ life as a theologian and writer. As a man who courageously stood for the truth of Scripture in the midst of growing opposition, Edwards demonstrated his confident assurance in the God of Scripture and lived to uphold these precious truths at all costs- even if it meant he could lose reputation and even financial provision that would effect his entire family. As a theologian, Edwards upheld the biblical truth of the glory of God displayed in all things- primarily expressed in reformed theology- primarily as it relates to soteriology (the study of salvation). In preserving these biblical truths of the early church fathers (like Augustine) and continuing in some of the teachings most recently of the Puritans, Edwards taught on the glory of God in salvation. Then as it relates to the “Great Awakening”, I think that Edwards is the foremost theologian who biblically best understands what true fruit of genuine “revival” should look like, and how Christian living should flow from a genuine work of God (as he primarily wrote about in more detail in “Charity and it’s Fruits”).

Finally, it must be understood that Edwards (like anyone we admire) had his struggles with sin and was not a perfect man. It seems one of his most prevalent struggles was with pride and self-righteousness (like me). No doubt God blessed Edwards to not only be a very disciplined person (as seen from his “resolutions” and spiritual disciplines), but also gave him wisdom to discern biblical fruit of Christian living. As a result of this, Edwards seemed to have a tendency to be arrogant and self-righteous if other Christians did not emulate some of these things to the degree he would have liked to see, thus there appeared to be some relational conflict at times with people in the church (which perhaps also contributed to the dismissal). It also appears he did not always come across as a very friendly and joyful person at times, which would partially be attributed to what was said to be his “melancholy” personality. Then, there is the issue of Edwards as a slave owner. No doubt this has been a big controversy in the history of his life for years as many have questioned his thinking and convictions on this issue. What is mostly speculated and seems clear from Edwards’ life is that had Edwards known the extent of the evil of the slave trade, he would probably not have been a slave owner. And also not to completely excuse him from being at fault: from a historical standpoint, it should be important to note that slavery was very common in their society and thus was all Edwards had ever known. Regardless of these specifics, what seems most clear is that Edwards was not only opposed to the slave trade, but was also opposed to the prevalent dehumanization of slaves that was more common in their society. Edwards loved the slaves he had in his household and treated them with dignity and love. One expression of his love and uniquely different view of slaves from most of society was that he also had members in his church that were slaves. Edwards primarily saw a responsibility to Christianize slaves and thus have them so he could preach and live out the gospel to them. All that said, regardless of the areas of his life that would clearly show him as far from perfect, the legacy that God chose to leave through him is one of admiration and emulation. It is my hope and prayer that I love and serve the Savior in ways that Edwards demonstrated in his life- all for the glory of God.

::freckles::

2010-05-12T11:50:00.000-04:00

::freckles::, originally uploaded by tessa|:|winn.

::Galatians 3:7-8::

2010-05-11T14:10:00.004-04:00

Thank you Lord for grace for my tired, foggy mind to memorize today. Thank you for more grace available to continue to review the verses already memorized. May your living word bear fruit in my weak and needy heart.

3:7 Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham.
3:8 And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand, saying, "In you shall all the nations be blessed."

::Galatians 3:5-6::

2010-05-10T15:53:00.004-04:00

Its been some time yet by grace I see my need to keep pursuing memory work in this gospel-saturated epistle. From memory here are two more verses from Galatians:

3:5 Does he who supplies the Spirit to us and work miracles among us do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith -
3:6 just as Abraham "believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness"?

Thank you Lord for fresh grace to hide your Word in my heart as you desire me to. Thank you for supplying the Spirit to me as a guarantee of faith. Thank you for calling me to hear in faith and believe in your Son. Thank you for that I can never add works to the finished work of Christ. Thank you Lord that you are my righteousness.

::reflections::

2010-05-07T22:00:00.000-04:00

::reflections::, originally uploaded by tessa|:|winn.

went for a walk with my sister last week & brought along the camera for fun... pictures of baby O to come.

[that]

2010-05-02T17:58:00.000-04:00

[that], originally uploaded by tessa|:|winn.

[this]

2010-05-02T17:57:00.000-04:00

[this], originally uploaded by tessa|:|winn.

::winn fam bookclub | safely home::

2010-04-07T07:38:00.001-04:00

Last week I was able to finish Randy Alcorn's "Safely Home". Anyone who has read this book knows that it is a can't-put-it-down kind of novel. While most would finish it in a day or week tops the only reason it took me a month and a half to complete due to our family moving.

Now having finished, I know that this book's message is impossible to put back on the shelf because its one that I will hold onto for life. Though it is a fictional story, sadly the research and information inspiring this book is all too real in China today. Alcorn's main character, Li Quan, has shown me what it is to be bold to share Christ crucified and the joy to be had in suffering for the gospel at great cost - even to death. Personally, I have come away from this book with an increased love for the global church, a deeper respect for those who are facing persecution for Christ's name, a fresh passion for evangelism and a longing for my eternal home in heaven. I would highly recommend anyone to read "Safely Home" - you won't regret it.

There are some quotes that have impacted me:

"If you give God everything you have, he will provide everything you need."

"Temporary suffering is a small price to pay for eternal happiness."

"Never forget Yesu is King. Never forget your home is in another world. Never forget your father will be waiting to see you again."

"Quan kept telling himself that no matter how bad this felt, the cross of Yesu Jidu had been much worse. Infinitely worse. And the one who went there for him had chosen to. No one forced him. No one could."

"What the Communists cannot do to the church, heresy can. Most trouble comes not from atheist who say there is no God, but from those who adopt strange ideas because of no training in Shengjing."

"The same state that persecutes the church is an instrument in God's hands to make the church grow."

"In your affluence and freedom perhaps you forget you are at war."

"In prayer we learn that the power resides in Yesu, not in us."

"When Yesu wants me to take his message no more, he will let me know. When I die, that will be a sign he wishes me to do something else."

"Purity is worth the highest cost, is it not? God is with us in the fire... If we are faithful, we will come out purer than when we went into the fire. This is why real gold does not fear the fire."

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward. But properly learned, the lesson forever changes the man."

"One day you will die. You must spend your life preparing for that day."

::he is risen::

2010-04-04T06:46:00.002-04:00

Christianity rests on the certainty of Jesus' resurrection....
Jesus resurrection
demonstrated His victory over death,
vindicated Him as righteous, and
indicated His divine identity.

It guarantees the believers
present forgiveness and
justification, and it is the hope of
eternal life in Christ
for the believer.

- ESV Reformation Study Bible Note

::good friday::

2010-04-02T09:36:00.002-04:00

What a good day for my soul. Not just today but everyday of the Christian life is a remembering of Calvary. But today in particular, time set apart to ponder the finished work of my Savior on the cross. Tonight we plan to watch Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ and reflect together on the punishment that has brought us peace. This is a prayer I found from Charles Spurgeon helpful on reflecting on the wonders of calvary.

The Wonders of Calvary C.H. Spurgeon
Great God, there was a time when we dreaded the thought of coming near to You, for we were guilty and You were angry with us, but now we will praise You because Your anger is turned away and You comfort us. Yes, and the very throne which once was a place of dread has now become the place of shelter. I flee to You to hide me.

O bring us, we pray You, now near to Yourself. Let us bathe ourselves in communion with our God. Blessed be the love which chose us before the world began. We can never sufficiently adore You for Your sovereignty, the sovereignty of love which saw us in the ruins of the Fall, yet loved us anyway.

We also bless You, O God, as the God of our redemption, for You have so loved us as to give even Your dear Son for us. He gave Himself, His very life for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity and separate us unto Himself to be His peculiar people, zealous for good works.

Never can we sufficiently adore free grace and undying love. The wonders of Calvary never cease to be wonders, they are growing more marvelous in our esteem as we think of Him who washed us from our sins in His own blood. Nor can we cease to praise the God of our regeneration who found us dead and made us live, found us at enmity and reconciled us, found us loving the things of this world and lifted us out of the muck and mire of selfishness and worldliness in the love of divine everlasting things. - Amen.

::march 2010::

2010-03-31T13:35:00.011-04:00

We've had our fill of madness this March. Here's whats been going on with the our little family.

::new house::

We moved at the end of February and have since unpacked, settled in and are loving it! I am so grateful to have a "move-in ready" home! Even the paint colors in the house are so great to live with (excluding the guest bathroom which was just painted... sorry Brewer girls, no more bright orange). I'm slowly adding pieces of furniture and putting up decorations bit by bit. I like to take my time and take it one room at a time. We're looking forward to having house warming party next month!

::britt moved in::

Ever since one of my best friends, Britt, moved to Maryland I've been trying to get her to live with us when we bought our own place. While we would be house hunting the timing was never right. But God is sovereign! After epic Blizzard of 2010, Britt's place at the Partlow's home had some damages so they decided to put it on the market after repairs. With this transition Britt was now open to moving in with us. So at the beginning of the month she moved into our studio basement apartment! Still amazed that Britt would want to live with us but couldn't be more thrilled to have her be apart of our household! Here's a picture of us together from 2006... love her so!

::new work schedule::

After our move we were able to cut back my work hours to 30 hour week. Already I've seen the big impact that 10 more hours in our home is having! I love it! We have been seeing God's provision all over the place with Jim's business and recently discerned a more affordable independent insurance plan than my company plan which is saving us some money. So grateful for the shorter work week.

::trips to PA & KY::

The weekend before last, Jim went to Louisville to visit and care for a dear friend, John, from Boyce Bible College while I went with my parents and Josh to Pittsburgh to be my grandparents after my grandma was just recently released from the hospital. It was a full weekend of serving the ones we love but we sure did miss being together! Thanks Aaron and Syd for hosting Jim :)

Joshua loves Grandma Giel's teeth :)

Jim & John

Jim with his cousin Kathy...

and her husband Brennan

::joshua - 10 months::

Monday was his 10 month birthday and guess what he started saying to my delight - "mama"!

He is now pulling himself up on furniture, army crawling and scooching himself on his bottom. Trust me I'm not in any rush to get him walking. He can just take his time. Here are some pictures of him eating his first chocolate chip pancakes - loves chocolate just like his Grandma :)

Last Saturday we went to his nine month check up so here are the Joshie stats: weight 17-14oz (10%), height 28 in (50%), head 46 1/2 cm (75-90%) - basicly skinny, tall and a big head.... sounds kind of like his dada ;) He'll be a year before we know it! Crazy!

::up coming::

Easter, my favorite holiday, followed by birthday on April 6 and our Baltimore weekend get away that weekend... can wait for fun times and great weather ahead!

::winn fam bookclub | dug down deep::

2010-03-15T12:01:00.005-04:00

My husband, Jim, just finished up Joshua Harris' Dug Down Deep. Here's his recap on the book:

As I write this, the first thing I want to do is express gratefulness to the Lord for allowing myself- and my family- to be planted in Covenant Life church. Besides being blessed with such rich teaching and care of an incredible pastoral team, I am surrounded by wonderful godly friends who constantly inspire me to love and treasure the Savior more. In this pastoral oversight, I marvel that the Lord has given our local church such a gift in allowing Josh Harris to be our senior pastor. At present, I am behind on my “book summaries” and am currently immersed in George Marsden’s biography of Jonathan Edwards. When I read about Edwards- one of my historical heroes- one sad thing that stands out is the adversity he faced among congregations he preached to and shepherded. For some reason in God’s mysterious providence, I have not known or seen this kind of adversity at Covenant Life. Just pondering that the Lord has me here in this time is amazing to fathom. Josh has such a unique God-given blend of gifts in not just his teaching, but in his writing. Josh’s writing style is such that is so enjoyable and easy to read. He continually packs on one powerful statement after another. And in doing so, in such beautiful harmony which makes for many carefully thought, powerful truths that are clear, concise and faith inspiring. Yes, I am very grateful for this man and thank the Lord for the gift he is to not just our local church but also the broader Church of Jesus Christ.
A central focus Josh embarks on is to take us readers on a journey of how the Lord has worked in his life over the years to shape his life and theology. In fact, one thing I was so grateful for as I read how the Lord was at work was that there are many similarities to how the Lord has been at work in my life (similar time frame and age, church background, perception of various doctrines, Christian experiences, etc.). A key verse that Josh draws from is Luke 6:46-49 where it talks about how the wise man “builds” his house upon the rock. From this, Josh elaborates on how building in such a way that pleases and serves the Savior must involve planting a solid foundation- which entails “digging down deep”- being grounded in the truths of God, rooted in Scripture.
No doubt there are many quotes and various details in this truth-packed book that I could cite. Since time will not allow for such elaboration, I will rather cite a few things that stood out- some of which are both principles and truths I want to embrace. One of these principles is the example of Josh pursuing a godly mentor in CJ Mahaney and then humbly and eagerly sitting at his feet to learn from his life and example. Next, I want to live my life in such a way that embraces and practices living the truth with humility, which Josh refers to as “humble orthodoxy”. One of the similarities that I was reminded of in my life of how Josh describes his doctrinal pilgrimage, was how God has shaped his background and experiences and has brought current conviction and belief as it relates to the biblical, present day work of the Holy Spirit. I could say so much about this category alone, which was probably my favorite section of the book to read. In part of this section, Josh addresses various views that Christians take on the work of the Holy Spirit. In a humble, gracious way he not only communicates why he believes what the Bible clearly teaches about the Spirit, but also brings insightful, practical application to how the Spirit works in the lives of Christians to bring glory to Jesus. Finally, I was really moved by how God worked mightily in the life of Josh’s father, Greg and saved him. One encouragement from Greg’s testimony is that the powerful truth that God really does save anyone, will always endure.
No doubt, “Dug Down Deep” is a must read- both for people exploring the truths of the Bible and Christianity, and for Christians wanting to grow deeper in their love and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

::baby odin | meeting the fam::

2010-03-01T19:11:00.000-05:00

Baby Odin in the nursery

Smith's visiting with Anna before Odin was born

Odin's here!

meeting his grandparents

meeting the aunts

last night Jim & I got to go to the hospital so Odin could meet his Uncle Jim :)

Welcome to the outside world baby Odin!

::Galatians 3:3-4::

2010-03-01T11:26:00.003-05:00

After moving week and the birth of our nephew my scripture memory just didn't happen this past week, but this morning I find grace is new to keep on hiding the word in my heart. What hope I find in these verses especially. No discipline including scripture memory is a way of being perfected by the flesh. No! I am seen as perfect before a Holy God always and forever because the finished work of my Savior that covers me. To think that I could ever contribute to this work or the Spirit's work in me would be what the apostle Paul says is pain foolish! Thank you Lord for your Spirits work that has begun and will finish in me the work of holiness in my life!

3:3 Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit are you now being perfected by the flesh?
3:4 Did you suffer so many things in vain - if indeed it was in vain?

::odin james smith::

2010-02-28T16:53:00.006-05:00

He's here! After two hours of pushing, at 4:22pm Odin James Smith made his arrival just 7 lb 7 oz! Congratulations to Joel and Anna!!! photo credit - my mom :)

::baby smith | pushing::

2010-02-28T15:39:00.001-05:00

Anna got the ok to start pushing and baby's head is visible. Could be here any moment! While we wait, here are some more pictures of family visiting with them. Joel and Anna knew they were giving birth today... what they didn't know was that it would be a PANDA! Quote of the day - Anna says "If we're having a panda I'm in trouble cause I didn't stock up on bamboo shoots. We're gonna have to release this baby into the wild." :)

::baby smith | labor::

2010-02-28T11:12:00.004-05:00

So Anna's in labor right on her due date! After laboring at home all weekend, she and Joel headed to the hospital this early morning when her water broke. Anna quickly moved from 1cm to 4cm and got an epidural around 9am. I just heard that she's at 9cm and could be getting ready to push soon. Here are some pictures of them as we wait (note: all of these were takes post-epidural hence the happiness ;))

this last picture is credit to my dad :)

::baby smith | shower::

2010-02-28T10:40:00.009-05:00

So I'm sitting here at Montgomery General waiting for the arrival of little baby Smith and realized that I never put up pics of the baby shower! Well, a month ago we through my sister Anna a "forest friends" baby shower in theme of Anna's nursery. We were so happy that so much friends and family from out of town were able to be there to celebrate! Here are some pictures :)

::Galatians 3:1-2::

2010-02-18T10:39:00.002-05:00

New chapter, new grace - thank you Lord!

3:1 O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified.
3:2 Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith?

::Galatians 2:19-21::

2010-02-17T15:38:00.003-05:00

Another reason I'm grateful to be tackling the book of Galatians is because our church created scripture memory songs for some of the verses when we studied the book back in 2003. Because these group of verses were one of the songs, I already had it easily committed to memory (except for verse 21 now says "righteousness" not justification like the song...). So today I'm singing my memory verses :)

2:19 For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God.
2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
2:21 I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

::Galatians 2:17-18::

2010-02-16T10:24:00.003-05:00

Because I am a justified in Christ I can not longer be a servant of sin. As I tear down sin in my life I prove myself to be owned by Christ and not my transgressions. Thank you Lord for new grace to memorize your word today:
2:17 But if, in our endeavor to be justified in Christ, we too were found to be sinners, is Christ then a servant of sin? Certainly not!
2:18 For if I rebuild what I tore down, I prove myself to be a transgressor.

::Galatians 2:15-16::

2010-02-15T10:26:00.003-05:00

One of the reasons I really wanted to memorize the book of Galatians was because of its rich gospel content. This morning's memory passage was one such clear reminder of justification through faith in Jesus alone.

2:15 We ourselves are Jews by birth and not Gentile sinners;
2:16 yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified.

Thank you Lord that my justification is not dependent on my works. No amount of righteousness I pursue will ever add to what Jesus Christ has done for me. Nor can my many failing to meet up to the righteousness you require ever change my standing before you in Christ Jesus. I am a Gentile sinner, through and through, and yet I am accepted and justified because I have been tied to Christ through faith . Thank you Lord that my justification is unchanging - on "good days" or "bad days" because of the costly sacrifice of my Savior! Help me today, Holy Spirit, to live in the joy of the truth that my justification is through faith in Christ alone !

::be mine::

2010-02-12T14:38:00.001-05:00

Pass along some super sweet valentine goodness from this free download.

::Galatians 2:13-14::

2010-02-12T09:49:00.002-05:00

Lord, help me to live in such a way that my conduct is always in step with the truth of the gospel.

2:13 But the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.
2:14 And when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, "If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?"

::Galatians 2:10-12::

2010-02-09T11:03:00.004-05:00

Thank you Spirit for more grace to memorize these scripture verses today:

2:10 Only, they asked us to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.
2:11 But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.
2:12 For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party.

::Galatians 2:6-9::

2010-02-08T14:02:00.002-05:00

Took me a few days with all the destractions of the snow, but by grace got these verses down in memory!

2:6 And from those who seemed to be influential (what they were makes no difference to me; God shows no partiality) - those, I say, who seemed influential added nothing to me.
2:7 On the contrary, when they saw that I had been entrusted with the
gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been entrusted with the gospel to the circumcised
2:8 (for he who worked in Peter for his apostolic ministry to the circumcised worked also through me for mine to the Gentiles),
2:9 and when James and Cephas and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given to me, they gave the right hand of fellowship to Barnabas and me, that we should go the Gentiles and they to the circumcised.

::winn fam bookclub | the journals of jim elliot::

2010-02-07T12:11:00.006-05:00

To Jim's delight, he just completed his endurance read of a difficult book he started last year - "The Journals of Jim Elliot". For our benefit, here is his take on this collection journals:

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

This well-known quote by Jim Elliot- and also referred to as his “credo” is one of my personal all-time favorites. For years, Jim Elliot has been- and still is- one of my heroes in the faith. To get a glimpse into the life and personal journals of Jim, this certainly provides a unique window into his hearts convictions, passions, deep love for the Savior and doctrinal positions. To be honest, a lot of the read can drag on and be boring as he talks about some of the monotonous daily details of various things from school and weather, to language translating and random conversations with people he meets. But even though one must endure these kinds of details in the reading, the beneficial takeaways are numerous.

One thing that stands out clearly is how God gave Jim a passion to pursue Him faithfully in spiritual disciplines through sweet communion in prayer, reading of the Scriptures and of course, journaling- thus resulting in these journals. Jim’s utter dependence on the empowering of the Spirit to accomplish anything fruitful is evident. And in the reading of Scripture, Jim often elaborates on how truth is affecting him and what God intends through the text. His faithful pursuit of the spiritual disciplines leads to the obvious God-glorifying fruit displayed in his surrender to serve the Savior in all ways possible: leading others to Christ, faithfully waiting for marriage, and willingness to die for the advance of the Gospel.

But one of the most interesting things to read about in Jim’s life is how his doctrinal positions are framed- and how some even changed as the years went on. Most interesting to me in this is how in his earlier years he was not only Arminian in his views of soteriology, but was even vehemently opposed to Reformed theology. However, something takes place as the years go on and God opens his eyes to behold and believe the glorious truths of the doctrines of grace and embrace reformed soteriology!

One area I would have challenged him in would be his seemingly lack of regular commitment to a local church. His church background was Plymouth Brethren, which would hold some doctrinal positions I wouldn’t agree with- like church polity and arminian beliefs. Even though Jim did a lot of preaching, he travelled a lot to other churches and Christian meetings, rather than planting himself more consistently in one local church. He even communicates disappointment in not only his Plymouth Brethren gatherings, but other church gatherings as well (which also are tied to the self-righteous struggles). Of course, Jim had a love for the church- people of God- wherever he went! One thing that also seemed to be evident earlier in his writings was a legalistic view of God’s favor. For example, one day he reflects on an evangelistic conversation where he didn’t see conversion takes place and says, “I did not spend enough time with God to obtain a blessing”.

Jim also communicates an honest and clear picture of his struggles with sin and a Christ-driven resolve to fight and pursue obedience. One area he was aware of that he often fights is self-righteousness, reflected at times when he criticizes how others are spending their time and energies in things like social and recreational activities, rather than specific kingdom pursuits. There are also occasional battles with despondency- which perhaps were sometimes a result of his legalistic battles. And then another clear battle that he communicates numerous times is the fight against lust during his single years, especially as he eagerly awaits marriage to Betty during the courtship and engagement times.

Personally, I thought some of the most beautiful writing was Jim communicating his love for Betty- and for the Savior in knowing that ONLY He had provided her as a gift to him! Jim’s faithful patience in waiting for her in marriage and seeking to romance her in various ways is inspiring. For me personally, God used his communicated love for Betty to freshly remind me of how much I am blessed with God’s gift to me in Tess!

So yes, like every one of us- Jim did not live a perfect life. Like us, he struggled with sin and lack of love at times for the Savior. And even though there were some areas of conviction I wouldn’t agree with, his life and love for the Savior shout out in glorious ways and compel me to want to be more like him in many ways. And of course through his death, it is amazing to see how the Lord is using his life- to this day- to not only bring many into the Kingdom, but freshly inspire Christians to live for the Kingdom!

::snowed in::

2010-02-06T12:49:00.002-05:00

love being trapped indoors with my two favorite people.
hope your enjoying the snowpocalypse.

::Galatians 2:3-5::

2010-02-04T11:14:00.003-05:00

As I memorize this passage this morning I remember the portion of "Safely Home" I just read. This verse talks about "false brothers secretly brought in" and I just read about Chinese soldiers brought in to spy out freedom that the underground church has in Christ Jesus. Then how they are now faced with the choice not to yield in submission to their opposition even for a moment - even at the cost of their own lives - that the truth of the gospel might be preserved in China.

Now I'm thinking "When have I had to sacrifice this much to preserve the truth of the gospel in the US?" I can't remember a time. But I don't think my battle to preserve the gospel will be one of war-time physical opposition, but rather begins in my personal meditation. How often do I allow subtle distortions to seep into the truth of the gospel in my thoughts?

"Alright, here is your to-do list today - get it all done in your own strength." Truth: apart from Christ you can do NOTHING. "I got so much accomplished today - I guess I don't really need Christ's sacrifice cause I'm doing good on my own" Truth: you were dead, helpless, unable to move in any direction but away from righteousness before Christ. "Man, I'm such a huge sinner - if I just feel really really bad about this then I won't do it again" Truth: you are a huge sinner, but you only see the tip of the iceberg - no amount of guilt or condemnation can contribute to what Christ accomplished for you on the cross when He cried 'It is FINISHED!" or the change that he will produce all of grace!

This is my battle. Every thought captive to obey Christ! This is what it looks like to daily preserve the truth of the gospel not yielding in submission to the slightest of distortions that tempt me to self-sufficiency or condemnation. By the grace of God, He will continue to preserve the truth of the gospel in my heart and mind today!

2:3 But even Titus, who was with me, was not forced to be circumcised, though he was a Greek.
2:4 Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in - who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery -
2:5 to them we did not yield in submission even for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you.

::Galatians 2:1-2::

2010-02-03T09:31:00.003-05:00

Definitely tired after a late night last night and very aware of fresh grace to begin memorizing chapter 2 this morning.
2:1 Then after fourteen years I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, taking Titus along with me.
2:2 I went because of a revelation and set before them (though privately before those who seemed influential) the gospel that I proclaim among the Gentiles, in order to make sure that I was not running or had not run in vain.

::Galatians 1:21-24::

2010-02-02T09:40:00.002-05:00

Thank you Lord for Your grace and strength and ability to hide Galatians 1 in my heart! When I think back on what I was before I knew Christ and how I can now preach the faith I once rejected, please fill me with gratefulness for your saving grace. May my testimony of transforming grace point others to glorify God because of me!

1:21 Then I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia.
1:22 And I was still unknown in person to the churches of Judea that are in Christ.
1:23 They only were hearing it said, "He who used to persecute us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy."
1:24 And they glorified God because of me.

::winn fam bookclub | when people are big and God is small::

2010-02-01T12:57:00.005-05:00

Last week I wrapped up "When People are Big and God is Small" by Edward T. Welch and I could not recommend it more. To combat fear of man in the Christian life Welch does an excellent job of challenging you the reader to biblically define sin in our therapeutic culture and increase of our fear of God. This book is divided in two parts - I. How and Why We Fear Others and II. Overcoming the Fear of Others. Personally, even while he is completely accurate in his diagnosis of our the world's therapeutic view of this problem, I found Part I didn't hold my interest as much as Part II. If you'd like the meat and potatoes and wan to skip right to some good heart application, I'd recommend just jumping right into the second part of the book. I have so many take aways that I'm holding onto so that I can put the book back on the shelf but keep its message in my heart. These are some of the nuggets of truth I want to take with me:
"Since there is no room in our hearts to worship both God and people, whenever people are big, God is not."

"To [grow in the fear of the Lord] demands the most powerful resources we have: the Word, the Spirit, and the body of Christ."

"It is good for us to have times when we are uncomfortable before God."

"If you want to know whether or not you fear God, note your reaction when good things are taken from you."

"...the person who fears God fears nothing else."

"It takes eyes of faith to see God's strong arms of compassion and anticipate deliverance in times of trouble."

"When the fear of the Lord matures in you, Christ becomes irresistible."

"Awe is good, but awe must lead us to faith, and faith must lead to action."

"Liberation from the fear of man has three components: we must have a biblically informed knowledge of God, other people, and ourselves."

"We either act independently of God and look to fill ourselves with other objects or people, or we look to Christ and if relationship needs met in him."

"The problem is not that we desire love, the problem is how much we desire it or for what purpose we desire it."

"We are asking God to give us what we want, so we can feel better about ourselves, or so we can have more happiness, not holiness, in our lives."

"The main reason why there is an epidemic of emptiness is that we have created and multiplied our needs, not God."

"Ultimately, the awesome responsibility and glorious privilege of image-bearing is expressed in simple acts of obedience that have eternal implications."

"Self-serving needs are not meant to be satisfied; they are meant to be put to death."

"An accurate knowledge of ourselves forces us to look to Jesus."

"you must be controlled by the truth of God more than your own feelings.

"Our goal is to love people more than need them."

"Have you tried to pray 'bigger'? It is an excellent remedy for the fear of man."

"I have spoken with many people who want to know their spiritual gifts.... It reflects a church where we are running around as self-actualizing individuals rather than uniting as a God-glorifying community.... How can I grow in love for and service to the body of Christ?"

"The problem is that unless there is a radical change in the way we see God, ourselves, and others, community will become just another strategy for us to feel better about ourselves."

"The fear of the Lord simples life."

"As deep as her pain was, she realized that her sin problem was deeper than her pain problem."

"I found that people were big, my desires for self-glory were even bigger, and God was small. I cared more about the praise of men than the praise of God. I was a worshipper of people, hoping that they would give me the blessing I desired. I found that I needed my class for my purposes more than I loved the. The path away form the fear of man was the path of confession of sin and repentance. There were no other options."

::Galatians 1:18-20::

2010-02-01T09:48:00.004-05:00

I'm freshly aware after today's memory of the integrity of Paul's testimony of the Gospel truly being from Jesus Christ and not a man's gospel. Paul details at great length his exact actions after receiving the gospel from the Lord as certain proof that he does indeed preach God's Gospel. That his testimony is true shows the Gospel is as well.
1:18 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to visit Cephas and remained with him fifteen days.
1:19 But I saw none of the other apostles except James the Lord's brother.
1:20 (In what I am writing you, before God, I do not lie!)

Thank you Lord that Paul's testimony is true and your Gospel is the only life-giving truth. Spirit, help me remember this today.

::we're moving::

2010-01-30T23:32:00.006-05:00

Jim and I have had some very exciting news from this past week! For all who have not heard yet, God has kindly provided for our family the gift of a home! Lord willing, settlement will be Tuesday, February 23rd!

We are first so aware of God's specific provision in every aspect of this transaction. This all began last week when Dave, our church's youth pastor, mentioned at a pastor's caregroup meeting that his family desired to put an offer in on a home close to Dave & Heather, another family in the church, but knew they needed to sell their home quickly to make this happened. Josh Harris then lead them to pray right then that God would quickly provide a buyer. Then Matt, of the family we rent from, told him that we might be interested in buying and one hour later Jim had negotiated a deal with Dave to get their home! God provides! After working out the details, we signed paper work the next night and bought their home! And even more exciting, Dave & Jen have now able to purchase the home that they were originally interested in. God has not only provided for us but for Dave & Jenn, Dave Dabb (their Realtor), the listing agent for the other house (a member of CLC), Joe Walker (lender for both parties) and for Dave & Heather (their new neighbors)!

Yet specifically for our family, we can see how in God's kindness He has provided! Along with the excellent location close to our church, our family and both our offices, we most desired to be on this certain neighborhood because of the many relationships that live there (Matt & Helen, Jon & Jenni, Isaac & Kelly, and recently Kurt & Naomi), but decided to open our search to a couple other locations as well. After previewing many homes, and even submitting offers on some them - they were always beaten out. Even within this specific neighborhood, we had considered four different townhouses, but again each offer was opposed. In all our home searching from this past year, doors have been sovereignly closed. There were times we didn't understand. Times we were discouraged. Times that we just didn't know why. But in a fight for faith, we knew that God did have something better. While we were perplexed then, Jim and I could not be more grateful now that we got this specific townhouse meeting the most specific of our home desires far better then any of the previous houses could have.

We want to be quick to say GLORY TO GOD ALONE for all that He has done, and rejoice now seeing how in His sovereignty He withheld other opportunities to give us something so much better!

Thank you all so much for your prayers, encouragement and council throughout the past year of home searching! Glory belongs to our God!

::Galatians 1:11-17::

2010-01-29T11:32:00.002-05:00

Today's scripture review in memory. So grateful for more grace to remember the gospel given to me not from man, but of direct revelation of Jesus Christ!

1:11 For I would have you know, brothers, that the gospel that was preached by me is not man's gospel.

1:12 For I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ.

1:13 For you have heard of my former life in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God violently and tried to destroy it.

1:14 And I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people, so extremely zealous was I for the traditions of my fathers.

1:15 But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,

1:16 was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone;

1:17 nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.

::Galatians 1:6-10::

2010-01-28T15:32:00.003-05:00

The method I use for scripture memory is to first review the last days verses then type up that day's passage 5 times with original in view and then 5 times from memory. When I type them up I use the chapter and verse so I don't mix up the chapters in the book and remember a reference. By God's grace, I was able to review Galatians 1:6-10 today and refresh it in memory.

1:6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel -
1:7 not that there is another one, but there are some that trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.
1:8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.
1:9 As we have said before, so now I say again if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.
1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Thank you Lord for your Word and the challenge to preserve the gospel from all distortion. As a servant of Christ, help me to seek your approval and not desire to please man.

::scripture memory::

2010-01-27T12:23:00.003-05:00

I remember it well. My first ladies meeting in the Roger's caregroup. Jami opens us with a time of prayer and then transitions with "So who would like to recite Colossians 3 from memory?" No, she wasn't joking. One by one each lady recited, from memory, the entirety of the chapter. I was so provoked, a little intimidated, but mostly just provoked.

But Jami didn't stop there. She decided her next goal would be the book (yes I said book) of Ephesians completing it just before our church began a preaching series it. And most recently she just finished memorizing the entire book of Romans! Did I mention that she did this with two little ones and prego brain?! I know that Jami would be the first to point to God's amazing grace to be able to practice this discipline, but still is the commitment to hide God's Word in her heart. Thank you for spurring me on friend!

I only mention this because it is her example and encouragement that has sparked a flame in my heart to pursue memorization as a discipline. After memorizing Colossians 3 and Romans 8, I began memorizing the book of Galatians last year, but had difficulty reviewing it and therefore have forgotten much of what was committed to memory. So I'd like to begin a practice here on our blog for accountability and to encourage others with truth that God is planting in my heart through memory. The plan: every day I review/memorize a section of scripture I will type it by memory and post it. Here is todays review -

Galatians 1:1-5
1:1 Paul, an apstole - not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead -
1:2 and all the brothers who are with me, To the churches of Galatia:
1:3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ,
1:4 who gave himself for our sin to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father,
1:5 to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

::self-pity article::

2010-01-26T10:33:00.003-05:00

A couple months ago I mentioned an article about self-pity that was very helpful, but didn't know how to attach the document to the post. Since some of you asked for it, you can get the pdf form here.

::winn fam bookclub | future grace review::

2010-01-25T12:33:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned earlier, Jim and I have begun a goal of 10 pages of daily personal reading. At this pace, Jim has a goal of 16 books in 2010. I haven't done the math yet for myself but I look forward to doing a lot of reading this year. Already I've benefited so much from making this a discipline and would encourage anyone to give it a try - its worth your time. Yet with all that reading we wanted to be sure that we were actually digesting what was read and decided to do book summaries here after we finish a book. While I'll be wrapping up my book this week, here is Jim's summary from Future Grace by John Piper:

For many years, John Piper continues to be one of my favorite writers for
many reasons. Pipers life and ministry have been heavily influenced by the
vision, theology and writings of Jonathan Edwards- another one of my favorite
writers and theologians. One of the reasons I have loved Pipers writing is that
it seems in all his books he does such an outstanding job of reiterating and
hammering home the same central message over and over again- communicated in
various ways, such as: Unless we treasure God for who He truly is, we will never
be satisfied; Or, our true happiness comes from prizing and treasuring Christ
above all things; God’s ultimate delight is making much of Himself, and our
ultimate delight is making much of Him- which in a nutshell summarizes perhaps
the most central theme of all His writings, referred to as “Christian Hedonism.”
Best said, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” And
along with this truth is the Piper life mission that he often communicates and
expounds on: “We exist to spread a passion for the supremacy of Christ in all
things, for the joy of all peoples.” The passion that the Lord has given Piper
to pursue living and teaching this truth is inspiring and convicting.
In “Future Grace”, Piper primarily aims to teach on biblical, saving faith. Saving
faith is not just something that we believe in that has taken place (like
Christ’s death and resurrection), but it is also treasuring Christ for who He is
and having faith in the promises of God that what will take place (Future
Grace)- in all Christ has for us. Justification and sanctification are
inseparably linked. If we have saving faith and have been forgiven (justified-
declared righteous in Christ) by God for our sins by placing our trust in
Christ’s completed work, than along with this trust in Christ- saving faith will
be evidenced by God’s enabling us to grow in our relationship w/Christ in
sanctification- which is the lifelong process whereby we are being conformed
more and more to His likeness. Yes, our lifelong battle with sin will continue-
but a trajectory of pursuing Christ and treasuring Him for who He is should be
evidence of true, saving faith. To put it best, Piper says, “The essence of
saving faith is ‘being satisfied with all that God is for us in Jesus.’” Future
grace looks forward to what God has for us in Christ. And to live for Christ
daily in the plans He has for us, we need His ongoing future grace to serve and
delight in Him. Edwards says that “prizing is the essence of praising”. We prize
what we most delight in. If our aim is to make Christ our ultimate treasure,
than Christ will give us the ultimate pleasure!